SAMUEL’S PRAYER
by Pia
As soon as Eilish stepped
further to inquire the little blue flowers in the strange
otherworldly forest, Samuel slipped in through the portal just
behind her. But Eilish was unaware of him – she could neither
hear nor see him and didn’t even know he existed. This had
been God’s wish – Samuel shouldn’t let himself be known to her
before the proper time. And the time hadn’t come yet. He was
just supposed to keep an eye on her and if allowed, intervene.
His task had been keeping Eilish safe from dangers and evil
and this is exactly why a guardian was needed.
Samuel was a guardian angel. He
had been a guardian from the beginning of mankind, even though
he had done some occasional “search and rescue” in between.
Before that he had mostly been in the choir. He was in fact
about the same age as Andrew, maybe even slightly older. God
had chosen him to be a guardian for some very special reasons.
First of all Samuel was taller than most angels – with his 6
feet 2 inches he seemed almost like a giant for most of the
early nations, he was tall even for the present-day standards.
His broad shoulders left no question about his strength. His
friends sometimes jokingly called him “God’s security guard”.
God had chosen him to do the work that needed lots of physical
strength. Besides protecting an assignment from various
physical dangers being a guardian often meant that he had to
confront all kinds of demons sent by the Devil to compromise
the mind of his assignments. But here physical strength is
often not enough, because demons are rather cunning creatures.
So God had above all chosen Samuel for his wisdom and
spiritual strength.
Samuel knew a lot and was
quick-witted, but he was not a very wordy angel. He chose his
words well and seldom spoke, but in no way he was unsocial. He
enjoyed good company, but he liked to listen more than he
liked to speak. Arguing, persuading, talking people into
something, chatting, making long conversations etc. was just
not his cup of tea. But he was never at loss of words either –
when necessary, he could certainly find the exact words
needed. Samuel was just a silent type of angel. Therefore he
was not exactly a caseworker material, like Monica, Tess or
Andrew, but he was required exactly as he was – strong, wise,
silent, humble, and at the same time warm-hearted and gentle.
Even though he was not an angel
of many words, he could say more with his eyes and smile than
many could with words. He had such intense eyes that it was
not possible to look into his eyes and be untruthful. He
seemed to look right into the depths of a person’s soul. For
the kind souls his glance was gentle and calming, but it
really scared everyone who had wicked intentions. Though his
blue eyes might have been somewhat intimidating for the shy
kind of people, which was Eilish’s case of course. But at the
same time she desperately needed someone to take a warm and
gentle, yet firm look through all the walls she had built in
years.
God knew it would take a patient
and kind angel to take care of Eilish, who was struggling with
quite many personal issues. She had come to the Earth from
Asteriana as a small child and soon proved to be an open and
joyful girl, who fearlessly communicated with everything and
everyone. But in years she met people who greatly
misunderstood her and thus pushed her away. She was often
taunted, teased and bullied for being different, so she
gradually became closed and shy. Her self-confidence suffered
a great deal and due to some horrid events she eventually
became fragile and scared of all people. Yet somewhere behind
all those walls she had built to protect herself there was a
sweet and bright girl whose soul yearned for someone to
encourage and caress her.
Samuel had witnessed many of
Eilish’s joys and sorrows and had grown deeply fond of the
delicate girl. For so many times he had wished he could
encourage her or just be there for her as a friend. But he
knew she had to make her decisions alone, he couldn’t
interfere with these. He was allowed to step in only in case
of immediate threat to her life. Still, from time to time it
was all so hard to bear. There were many times Samuel had felt
so helpless, so lost, so much in pain – he wished with all his
heart to once hold the battered girl tightly in his arms and
just tell her that she is safe now. To tell her that all these
years she was looked after and was not really alone. So it was
such a joy and relief for Samuel when Eilish found the portal
and entered her homeland once again.
When Eilish went to discover the
cottage on Tír na nÓg, Samuel went to the beach, put his knees
down on the white sand, looked up in the sky and gave thanks
to the Lord. He really needed to talk to God and despite his
reservation with words he felt it was going to be somewhat
longer conversation than he usually had.
“My Lord,” he said happily.
“Thank you for bringing her back home. Thank you!” He stopped
to lift his eyes and give a broad smile towards the sun.
Rarely had anyone but God seen him cry neither for sadness nor
joy, but sometimes he would just fall silent and lift his
misty eyes up. This is what he did now. He was really happy
and thankful. He felt God smiling back at him.
“Samuel, my dear friend
and servant, you have done well. Thank you for taking care
of her!” God said softly.
Samuel modestly lowered his
head. “It has been a very special assignment.” There was a
note of sadness in his voice. “I am really sorry if I failed
her in any way, Lord!”
“ You didn’t, Samuel! Your presence, your
guard was utterly important, but you know we couldn’t
interfere with her or anyone else’s decisions. You really
did everything you could and were meant to and often even
more. And you did it well.”
“I wish I could have done more,”
Samuel said silently, almost whispering.
He recalled the dreadful prom
evening and then remembered a gloomy autumn evening a couple
of years after Eilish’s graduation. Eilish had been on her way
home and had decided to go through the park. She realized too
late that a bunch of drunken men were following her. Before
she knew it they had caught up on her and there was no
question about their intentions. They grabbed her and tore her
clothes. She fought as hard as she could, but it was all in
vain. Luckily for her she passed out before they could carry
out their appalling plan.
Samuel had arrived just in time
to see her fall onto the ground and he glimpsed Andrew
standing only a few yards from her, looking devastated. Samuel
felt so angry he gathered all his strength and gave these
ill-natured men the scare of their lifetime. He appeared
before them in his most terrifying form. And they had fled in
total shock. But they had left the poor girl lying on the
ground, unconscious. Samuel looked at Andrew and saw to his
delight that there was a sign of relief in his face. Andrew
nodded slightly and left.
Samuel knelt down to Eilish and
stroked her hair. When she woke up, she just sat there in the
autumn leaves for several minutes, shivering, tears running
from her eyes. Even though these men hadn’t achieved what they
came for, she was in so much shock that she couldn’t even
move. This is when Samuel really broke. He just put his arms
around Eilish, and holding her tight, he wept. He almost never
cried, but this time it was all too much to bear. The girl
probably couldn’t feel his presence, but Samuel just had to do
something.
Eilish never told about this
incident to anyone, even Maria, even though her stepmother had
had some suspicions. That evening she had just sat there in
the park until she calmed down. Then she went home, telling
she had had a bad fall. She felt so bad for lying, but she
just couldn’t alarm Maria. But from this time on she couldn’t
let anyone really touch her – for the first weeks she had
flinched every time someone put her hand on her shoulder, not
to mention anyone trying to hug her. This slowly faded, but
even though deep inside she yearned for human touch, she was
terrified of it at the same time.
“That night, in the park... They
were going to...”
“Yes, Samuel, they were,” God said grimly. “And they would have
killed her. But you were there, remember. You protected her
from the worst.”
“I was so angry I just blazed my
fury upon those men.... I’m so glad I could scare them away
before they... “Just the thought of it made his heart pound
faster and his eyes became a few shades darker. He took a deep
breath to calm down. “But... even though physically she had
escaped with just a few scratches and bruises, her soul was
broken yet again. I just wish I could have stopped it all from
happening. All the bad things... Keep her safe... at home, at
school, the prom... everywhere. She is so dear to me...” It
was painful for Samuel to talk. All kinds of injustice just
made him furious and he passionately felt the need to protect
the ones being attacked or accused unjustly. Yet he knew how
to keep perfect balance - he never went to extremes or
intervened unless allowed. This was in fact a quality that
made him an excellent guardian.
“I know your anguish and share it with you. I love
Eilish dearly. And I know you have grown very fond of her,”
God told tenderly.
“More than I ever thought I
would... She has become very close to my heart, God. Can I...”
Samuel hesitated. “Now that she is back... and safe here...
can I finally meet her face to face and tell her that she was
fought for, that she was kept safe from the worst. Hold her...
Take care of her...” He paused, pondering on whether he had
said too much, been too eager.
But God just smiled again.
“You have a big heart, Samuel.”
Samuel humbly looked to the
sand.
“There is something I want to tell you, or rather,
give. You have been among my guardians for many centuries.
And you have done excellent search and rescue work in
between. I hereby want to give you some time off, as a
gift,” God told with a smile.
Samuel looked up in surprise.
“Time off?”
“I want you to stay here. As long as you want. Go
and be the friend Eilish... and you... always needed.”
“I... I don’t know what to say,”
Samuel answered with total astonishment. “So I can really meet
her...” he told more to himself, smiling in disbelief.
“Yes. But for now, just give her some time to settle
in. You are, after all, still a stranger for her now. But I
know, Samuel, that you have all the love, patience and
kindness needed. I trust you.”
These kinds of words were the
biggest compliment God could give to anyone. The gift of
trust. “Thank you, Lord. From all my heart,” Samuel replied.
He hadn’t said much, but the grateful expression on his face
told more than the words ever could. He just knelt there, in
the sand, looking at the sea, smiling to himself (and to God)
and his heart sang with joy.
***
May 2015