He should have stayed Home.  Andrew knew that.  And yet... he'd been drawn back.  

He stood beneath a tree, hiding in its shadows.  He knew he didn't need to.  No one could see him.  But it felt right.  He felt like the tree.  A silent witness to change, good and bad.  He wished he didn't feel like it had been mostly bad lately.

Andrew blinked back tears as the sad procession left the house.  He stared at the covered stretcher, at the tell-tale bump at its center.  

His assignment, Cassie, had been six months pregnant.  She had been on the verge of leaving her abusive husband when she'd discovered she was pregnant.  She had been ready to support herself... but not a baby, too.  And she'd had no other options.  Politicians had taken those away from her.  And so she had stayed.  And so she had been beaten to death, her baby dying with her.

Andrew stood rooted where he was for several minutes after the ambulance left.  He watched CSI do their job and then, finally, they locked down the scene and left, too.

Only then did Andrew leave his spot.  He walked up the same driveway he had used only hours before.  But now there was only silence, no bellowing or anguished cries.

Andrew stared at the house that had once been the site of hopes and dreams but had become a prison of anger and fear.

He briefly set his hand on a little stone angel that Cassie had bought years before.  Then he turned away and disappeared.


His Laja looked so peaceful.  

Andrew stood a couple of feet away from their bed and studied her for a few moments.

JenniAnn was turned towards his side of the bed, her hand resting where his chest would be.  Andrew understood.  On the rare occasions he slept alone, he found himself hugging a pillow to his chest.  A phantom Laja.  

That was one of the many things Andrew didn't understand about people who hurt their significant others.  Didn't they realize they were shredding the fabric of their lives?

He'd talked to Adam about it.  But Adam had told him he was comparing apples and oranges.  He and JenniAnn had a healthy, thriving, affectionate relationship.  Not every couple did.  Heck, not even every healthy couple was quite so bound up in each other.  And Andrew knew that was true, of course.  He just couldn't fathom it and he'd told Adam as much.

"Because they take it for granted, buddy.  A lot of them grow up thinking they're just owed a wife, plopped down in front of them.  You?  You spent hundreds of thousands of years helping, helping, helping and I think it genuinely shocked you when you realized someone was out there who thinks making your life better is one of the core reasons for her existence... and it's not even an obligation.  She thrives on it.  And I think, on some level, that still shocks you.  And it will probably never stop shocking you.  You'll never take JenniAnn for granted because, frankly, I don't think you'll ever stop being in awe of her.  It'd be great if every partnered up person felt the same.  But they just don't.  Stop trying to understand them.  Please."

Andrew knew Adam was right.  Of course he was.  But still the questions and comparisons gnawed at him.  How could he not think of her on the day of their blessing ceremony?  How could he not remember the love and trust and joy and desire in her eyes?  And how he had felt all those things, too?  How could anyone systematically destroy all that in someone they were supposed to love and cherish?

JenniAnn stirred then blinked awake.  She smiled when her eyes landed on Andrew but the smile faded when she saw how unwell he looked.

"Love?  What's wrong?"

Andrew shook his head.

"Nothing.  I'm fine.  I was just thinking.  Let me... I'm just going to take a shower and then... then I'll join you."

"Are you sure?  Do you want me to come with you?  You look... unsteady."

Andrew forced a smile.

"Just tired.  I'll be right back.  Promise."

"All right..."

JenniAnn laid in bed and listened to the sound of the water.  She breathed a sigh of relief when it turned off and, soon, Andrew was getting into bed.

"Tough assignment?" she asked as she snuggled him.

Andrew nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Maybe tomorrow.  Right now... I just want..."

Andrew snuggled closer.

"I just want to lay with you... be with you... and sleep."

JenniAnn kissed his forehead.

"Sounds like a plan.  G'night, love."

Andrew brought her right hand to his lips.

"G'night, Laja.  I love you."

"I love you, too."

Andrew smiled wearily at her then closed his eyes, hoping for a dreamless sleep.


When JenniAnn awoke in the morning, she spent a few moments studying Andrew as he slept.  He looked better.  And she figured he must have slept soundly because he likely would have woken her up otherwise.  Gently, she stroked the patch of gray at his temple.  It had been a long time since she'd been able to ignore the repercussions of his choice.  His increased reliance on glasses had been the first clue.  Then the graying hair.  Fine lines on his face that hadn't been there before.  His joints popping when he got up for the first time in the morning, sometimes accompanied by a soft groan.

"Worth it," he would say before winking and kissing her.

And JenniAnn didn't doubt that.  Even taking herself out of the equation, Andrew adored being a dad and grandpa.  And he was so good at it!  Of course, he was so good at being an angel, too.  Both were important and he could never stop being either.  But JenniAnn did wonder if, at some point, the balance had gotten out of whack.  Maybe she needed to talk to Joshua about it...

But right now, she wanted to make breakfast in bed for Andrew.  He deserved that and so much more.


By the time JenniAnn was removing the last of the pancakes from the griddle, she'd been joined by all four of the kids and Marty. 

And no Andrew.

The entire point had been to bring Andrew breakfast in bed but that so seldom worked out.  Inevitably, Andrew woke up and insisted on helping.  JenniAnn could count on one hand the number of times in twenty five years that she'd actually succeeded in surprising him.

Apparently this was one of those times.  JenniAnn was pleased... but also worried.

Marty handed her a tray.

"You can head on up.  I'll manage things down here.  If you're not back in an hour, perhaps the children and I could go on a nature walk?"

"Oh, that sounds lovely!  Yes, thanks.  If Andrew's up to it, we'll join you.  If not... the quiet will do us some good, I think."

Marty squeezed JenniAnn's hand then nodded before grabbing a can of whipped cream and turning to the kids.

"Who is ready for smiley pancakes?"

JenniAnn smiled as the kids, even Shelby and Violeta, shrieked with glee.  She could still hear them laughing and carrying on as she made her way up the steps with the tray.

Once inside, she found Andrew still asleep.  Frowning, JenniAnn set the tray down on her bedside table then got back into bed.  She glanced at the clock.  8:02.  She couldn't remember the last time Andrew had slept in so late.

JenniAnn was still debating what to do when Andrew gasped and his eyes shot open.

"Love... love, what is it?" JenniAnn asked with concern, grabbing a flailing hand and holding it to her chest.

Andrew blinked at her then shook his head.

"Nothing... sorry.  Nightmare."  He sniffed the air.

"I brought you breakfast.  Pancakes and sausage and fruit."

Andrew smiled.

"Sounds good.  What time is it?"

"A little after 8:00," JenniAnn replied as she moved the tray to the bed.

"Wow."

JenniAnn rested a hand on his forehead.

"Are you feeling okay?"

Andrew nodded.

"Just... burning the candle at both ends lately, I guess.  But yeah.  And this will help."  Andrew held up his mug of coffee and smiled.  "Thank you."  His eyes looked upward.  "And You."

JenniAnn returned his smile. 

"Amen."

Andrew dug into his breakfast while JenniAnn picked at hers.

"Did you want to talk about your nightmare?"

Andrew shook his head.

"Don't actually remember much.  Just that it was a nightmare.  I was running.  Not even sure if it was from something or to something."

"Oh.  Okay.  Do you have any assignments today?"

"Not til 4:07.  And I shouldn't be gone long."

"Oh good.  Marty suggested a nature walk in about 45 minutes or so.  I thought that might be nice?  Clear your head?"  JenniAnn stroked Andrew's hair as she spoke.

"Are you going?"

"If you do."

Andrew smiled and squeezed her hands.

"Let's do it."

Relieved, JenniAnn hugged him.

"Good."

Andrew bumped his shoulder against hers then kissed her.

JenniAnn sighed with contentment.  For now, everything was fine. 


Later in the morning, the household, along with Max and Rose and their kids and Mallory and Evie, set out on their nature walk.

Several times, JenniAnn pulled her gaze away from the flowers and creatures and critters to glance at Andrew.  Each time he was smiling, sometimes with a child in his arms, sometimes stooping down to point an interesting bug or flower out to the little ones.

"He seems to be doing all right," Marty observed as he walked beside JenniAnn.

"You think?"

"'Seems' is doing some heavy lifting, I'm afraid."

JenniAnn sighed.

"Exactly.  I'm considering talking to Joshua but not sure it's my place.  But... it just seems like, increasingly often, he's coming home from assignments completely deflated.  Sometimes he'll talk about it.  Sometimes he won't."

"I think if you talk to Joshua about it, Andrew should be with you," Marty advised.  "Whatever is going on, he needs to be in on the solution."

"True..."

Marty's pace quickened to put a little more distance between the two of them and the kids.  JenniAnn hastened to keep up.

"I'm concerned," he confessed.  "Andrew is struggling.  We both know it.  But it can be easy to reassure ourselves that he's fine... it was just a bad day... because he comes back here, he spends time with you and the kids, and he improves.  But then the cycle repeats."

JenniAnn blinked back tears.

"I know... but I don't know what to do about it."

"I think, for starters, you need to talk to your cousins.  To Catherine and Vincent."

"Catherine and Vincent, why?"

"You know the old saying... women marry men like their fathers... or, more accurately, you bound yourself to an angel who bears some uncanny resemblances to your godfather."

JenniAnn looked back at Andrew who was walking with Avi on his shoulders.  She thought of Vincent.  There had been a period of time when she was very small when she knew he had struggled with... something.  Father had been convinced that it was due to his unique condition.  But from what she'd been able to piece together, JenniAnn thought it sounded like devastatingly ordinary depression.

"Do... do you think Andrew is depressed?"

"I... don't know.  But it's crossed my mind."  Marty squeezed JenniAnn's hand.  "It would be different for him.  For angels.  It's not necessarily a brain chemistry issue... although I suppose his history with TBI could figure in."

"I have read that the incidence of depression among people who have had a traumatic brain injury is something like two thirds...  I just didn't think it applied since Raphael healed him."

"It's unclear to me whether it was a full healing or a healing of the immediate symptoms.  I also... I think the TBI may be a red herring, JenniAnn.  I think..." Marty frowned, unsure if he should continue.

"You think this has happened before," JenniAnn finished for him.  "Long before Afghanistan even."

"Yes, how did you..."

JenniAnn let out a shaky sigh.

"Cause the thought crossed my mind, too.  That last year with Monica, Tess, and Gloria... there were points when I was really concerned.  But I was only what?  Twenty?  Twenty one, I guess?  My own mental health was... not great.  So I thought I was projecting but..."

Marty looped an arm around her waist.

"I don't believe you were.  I was pulling for you both then."

JenniAnn smiled at him.

"This time around, I'm glad you're physically with us, Marty.  It just helps to have another adult in the house.  I mean... Shel and Violeta are of course.  But..."

"But they're your children.  And you're right to protect them.  You have my listening ears.  Always."

"Mama!  Butterfly!"

Marty and JenniAnn turned around to see Belle pointing at a monarch perched on a flower.

"Oh, isn't it beautiful?  Thanks for telling me, Belle."

Belle smiled proudly and took her mother's hand once she was near enough.

"So pretty...  I want to be a butterfly for Halloween."

Andrew chuckled.

"Already thinking about Halloween, little elf?"

"Yup!  Just four months away, Daddy!"

"You know, I've heard of something called Summerween," Marty shared.  "People carve watermelons and make potions out of juices and ices among other things."

"Summerween!" Belle shrieked.  "I wanna do Summerween!  Can we, Mama and Daddy?"

Before Andrew and JenniAnn could reply, Marty resumed speaking.

"I would be very happy to host a Summerween party.  Tomorrow evening, perhaps?"  He looked to Andrew and JenniAnn.  "You could participate... or have an evening to yourselves?"

Andrew took JenniAnn's hand.

"Sounds like fun.  We could stop in and then maybe..."

JenniAnn smiled at him and nodded.

"We'll be around then maybe retire early to the cabin?" she suggested.

"We'll help!" Shelby offered on behalf of Violeta. 

"Are we going to invite other people?" Violeta asked.

"It's short notice but I see no reason not to invite the Friends.  I'll message the group text."  Marty withdrew an ancient-looking phone from his pocket.  "There.  Sent.  Now, let's finish making our way to the coast and then back, hmm?  We have a lot of planning to do."

Now more excited by the notion of Summerween than a nature walk, the kids scrambled ahead, eager to get to the shore so they could get back to the castle to plan.

"Not what I intended," Marty mumbled. 

JenniAnn laughed.

"It'll be good for them to burn up some energy."

"Do you need me to run to the store for anything?" Andrew offered.  "I'm free until 4:00."

Marty gave an adamant shake of his head.

"It's my idea and my responsibility.  You and JenniAnn are to do nothing but show up for however long you'd like."  Marty glanced at his phone.  "I'm already getting messages from people about bringing things."

"And I'm happy to help with food prep or whatever.  Marty's right.  You and JenniAnn plan and pull together so many of ours parties.  You should relax," Mallory encouraged.

"Absolutely.  I don't have any more clients until Monday so I'm all in.  How about you?" Max asked Rose.

"Happily!  I know summer's only just begun but I'm already craving autumn so this is perfect.  Just a few days ago I saw these super cute dipped strawberries that looked like ghosts.  I definitely want to do those... and make iced pumpkin spiced lattes."

Marty had abandoned his phone in favor of a small notebook where he began jotting ideas.

As the group continued, JenniAnn felt a little sorry to not be involved.  But when she saw the wistful, distant look on Andrew's face as he watched the kids running ahead, she was glad for the opportunity to be alone with him and without distractions.

"You doing okay, love?" JenniAnn checked as she wrapped an arm around the angel's waist.

Andrew snapped out of his reverie and nodded.

"Yeah.  Doing good.  Just... sometimes can't believe none of them are babies any more."

"I know... but they still need us just as much.  Just in other ways.  And they won't be leaving us any time soon, I'm sure.  We've still got the twenty eight year old, after all."

Andrew chuckled.

"True..."  He heaved a sigh then brought one of JenniAnn's hands to his lips.  "Sorry for being a downer lately."

"Andrew... no.  You're not a downer.  You're just a realist who sees a lot."

The angel nodded.

"Yeah, well... thanks for listening and being there just the same."

"Always, Andrew."  JenniAnn stretched up to kiss him. 

Andrew smiled after as she wiped some lip gloss away from the corner of his mouth.

"Thanks.  Let's hurry up a bit, hmm?" he suggested.  "I don't want the kids at the shore on their own."

"Good point," Marty agreed.

The adults quickened their pace with Andrew and JenniAnn remaining hand-in-hand. 

Once they reached the shore, the kids happily played in the sand for a few minutes then it was another race back to the castle so their Summerween planning could begin in earnest.  It was on the return that JenniAnn noticed Andrew's energy waning.

"Maybe a nap before lunch?" she suggested as they reached Willowveil's steps.

"I feel like I just got out of bed but... yes, please."

"Not sure I'm up for sleeping but I could definitely do with a lie-down."  JenniAnn laughed.  "My hips are very much protesting that run."

"Ooh.  Then we'll be able to surprise you with all of our Summerween stuff," Violeta realized.

"Yeah!  So stay out of the ballroom, please.  Tonight, too.  Dance in your bedroom if you have to," Shelby teased.

Andrew chuckled before responding.

"Noted.  We'll see you all at lunch... in the dining room, NOT the ballroom."

With that, Andrew and JenniAnn excused themselves and returned to their room.

"Not sure why I'm so tired."  Andrew yawned.

"You've had a lot going on, love.  And that was more running than I was prepared for."

"Do you want a massage?" the angel offered.

"Oh no!  You should rest.  I'm definitely fine.  Just... getting older."

Andrew winced slightly as he settled into the bed.

"You and me both...  Which I don't regret even a little," he hastened to add when he saw her expression begin to shift to one of guilt.  "I would take achy joints any day to be able to do this."

JenniAnn caressed his cheek as he kissed her.

"I love you so much, Andrew," she murmured.

"And I love you, too, Laja.  More... than I could ever say."  Andrew cuddled her close.

"Rest, love."

"Mmm hmm..."

Soon, Andrew was asleep. 

As he slept, JenniAnn did a mental review of the past few weeks.  She tried to remember the last time she'd seen Andrew consistently and truly happy.  It was the waning days of April, she thought... after they'd decided to make themselves a little hide-away in the basement tunnel.  That project had given him something to look forward to, something set apart from the wider world and yet still part of her world.

Her world.

That, of course, was the main issue.  Andrew could be perfectly, wonderfully happy in Heaven.  But she couldn't be with him there.  Not yet.  So he had to find happiness in the mortal realms.  Once upon a time, JenniAnn would have felt guilty about that.  But now she knew she was hardly the only person keeping Andrew out of Heaven.  Their kids and grandkids all needed him.  And he was a very involved Daddy and Grampy.  Sometimes JenniAnn felt a little jealous even.  Her dad had never played dolls with her.  He'd seldom read to her.  He was a good provider, for sure, but she sometimes felt like he'd left the more sentimental aspects of fatherhood to Vincent.  Andrew was both.  JenniAnn knew full well that even without a mortgage payment, she could never have provided for five kids on her own.  Most of their income came from Andrew's carpentry and what Joshua provided.  And yet Andrew still managed to take the girls on individual daddy-daughter dates, watch sports with Max, and go exploring with Avi. 

So, no, retreating to Heaven wasn't an answer... even if she told him to go.  Because something else had to be binding him to Earth.  After all, he hadn't retreated in the early aughts.  And that was well before kids, well before they were everything to each other.  His sense of responsibility was just too strong.  If those left behind in the wake of his assignments couldn't go to Heaven, why should he?  To the best of her ability, JenniAnn ran through what she knew of Andrew's assignments from those handful of years.  She remembered him telling her that he'd sought out solace in a bar once... for fries, not booze, of course... after one assignment left him feeling wistful.  He hadn't specified but JenniAnn had suspected that the assignment had involved helping a 9/11 widow and her son.

Maybe it was the state of affairs in the U.S.?  The paranoia and the clamp down on rights certainly reminded JenniAnn of the period after 9/11.  And while she knew Andrew wasn't American, it was foolish to think he wasn't impacted by the rising tide of fascism there.  And how could that not remind him of Nazi Germany?

JenniAnn remembered something Kylie had once said to her.  Clay had been going through a difficult spell with war-related nightmares.  And Kylie had asked her if Andrew ever experienced the same.  JenniAnn had confided that he did though he seldom told her the actual contents of the dreams.  Kylie had patted her on the back and sympathetically said "I'm sorry.  You've basically married a veteran of all wars."

And JenniAnn had never thought of it like that exactly.  It wasn't strictly true, of course.  Andrew had been almost entirely in Heaven for the first several millennia of his life.  But it was truer than she wanted to believe.

If he wanted, they could have a good, long talk the next night.  Maybe that would give her some answers.  But for now...  JenniAnn glanced at her bedside clock.  It was nearing noon.  There were kids to be fed.

JenniAnn carefully extricated herself from Andrew's embrace then kissed his forehead before creeping out of the room and making her way to the kitchen.  She was halfway through assembling a dozen PB&Js when she had the sense she was not alone.  Turning around, JenniAnn was surprised to find Evie standing in the doorway.

"Hey, Evie.  Can I get something for you?  A glass of milk or juice maybe?  Lunch will be ready soon."

Evie shook her head.

"Can I... talk to you?"

"Of course!  Let's sit down at the table."

JenniAnn hurriedly washed her hands then sat down.  To her surprise, the six-year-old climbed onto her lap.  JenniAnn frowned and smoothed her hair.

"Is everything all right, sweetpea?  Do you feel sick?  Where's your mommy?"

"I feel okay.  Mommy is helping Marty with decorations.  I..."

"It's all right.  You can tell me anything."

"Andrew is sad," Evie blurted out.

JenniAnn frowned.  She had hoped the kids hadn't noticed but had failed to consider Evie's uncanny perception of others' emotions.

"Yes, I'm afraid so," she confirmed.  "So I'm gonna do everything I can to help him, okay?  So try not to worry about it.  Have you told Avi?"

Evie shook her head.

"No.  Didn't want to make him sad, too."

JenniAnn hugged her.

"Well, if you need to talk any more about it, I'm here.  And... I think being here with us helps Andrew.  I know that doesn't mean the sadness goes away.  But..."

"He loves us.  And love makes you feel warm."

JenniAnn smiled.

"Exactly."

Evie grinned at her.

"Now... I better get back to those sandwiches.  Would you like to help?"

"Yeah!"

"Awesome!"

JenniAnn pulled a stool up to the counter for the little girl.  To her relief, Evie chatted about happier things while they worked.  And she was still more relieved when Andrew appeared.

"Wow, I could get used to this.  Breakfast in bed, a walk, and then right to lunch," he jested.

Evie giggled.

"Feel better?" JenniAnn checked.

"I do, thanks.  Those look good."

Evie handed him a sandwich.

"Thanks, kiddo!"

"You're welcome!"

"Evie, could you go tell everyone else?"

"Okay!"

Once Evie had run off, JenniAnn hugged Andrew.

"You sure you're okay?"

Andrew set his sandwich down on a plate so he could return her hug.

"I'm okay.  Yeah.  Just... a lot of ups and downs.  But... up right now."

"Good."

When JenniAnn tilted her face upwards, the angel of death kissed her.

"Not sure how..."

Andrew was cut off by childish shrieks.

"Calmly get your lunches and then head to the dining room, please," Marty directed.  "The kitchen is too small for shenanigans."

"And remember..."  Mallory mimed zipping her lips. 

Belle giggled.  

"It's gonna be so cool!  That's all I'll say."

Andrew smiled at his daughter.

"I'm excited to see it."  He lowered his voice and turned back to JenniAnn.  "And I'm looking forward to afterwards..."

JenniAnn squeezed his hand.

"Me too."

Andrew squeezed her hand back then focused on getting the kids drinks.

"How is he?" Marty whispered.

"Better.  For now." 

Marty patted her on the shoulder before leading the kids out of the kitchen.

"Wanna watch the Mets tonight, Dad?" Max asked as he helped with the drinks.

"I should be home by then."  Andrew turned to face JenniAnn.

"I'll pass," she replied with a scrunched nose.  "But I'd definitely welcome the reading time.  You two deserve some time just the two of you."  Silently, JenniAnn hoped that Andrew might confide in their eldest.  "You'll know where to find me when the game is over."

"That I do."

Feeling relieved, JenniAnn finished preparing her own plate then they all joined the happy cacophony in the dining room. 


The following evening, the entryway to Willowveil was packed with Friends as Marty, dressed as Gandalf, and Sandy, dressed as Coriakin, stood guard outside of the ballroom doors.

"Welcome mortals... and immortals... and that fellow who is somehow both..."  Everyone laughed as Marty pointed to Joshua.  "We hope you enjoy a magical, mystical, thrilling... Summerween!"

The doors flew open to reveal that the ballroom had transformed into a mix of a spooky forest and a haunted beach.  Andrew and JenniAnn were shocked at the transformation that had occurred right under their noses.

"This is awesome!" JenniAnn exclaimed, swooshing the skirt of her princess dress.  "You all did an amazing job!"

Andrew, her prince charming, nodded in agreement.

"You really did.  I think I like this Summerween thing," he conceded as he tossed a black and orange beach ball.  He handed the ball to Avi after a few moments then took JenniAnn's hand.  "A dance, my lady?"

"Of course, my lord."

"What's that?" Joshua called from nearby, holding little Saoirse Crocetti who was enthralled by the mane of his lion costume.

JenniAnn giggled.

"Little L lord, Joshua."

"Oh, gotcha."

"But I'll save a dance for you!"

Joshua smiled.

"Thank you.  Have fun!"

"We will."  Andrew smiled at Joshua then led JenniAnn to the dance floor.  He stared up at a projector that was raining stars down on them.  "Wow.  They even sprung for fancy lighting."

"They did!  It's kinda fun to think that while Marty was writing his records, he was also taking notes of ideas.  God only knows how many Summerween parties he's aware of."

The song abruptly ended and familiar beats sounded.

JenniAnn laughed after glancing over at the music table.

"Looks like he's DJing, too."

"'Well, it's a marvelous night for a moondance with the stars up above in your eyes.  A fantabulous night to make romance 'neath the cover of October skies,'" Andrew sang along as they began to sway together.

JenniAnn smiled.

"Remember how prudish I used to be about this song?"

Andrew grinned.

"I believe the lyric 'Well, I wanna make love to you tonight' was the issue."

"Uh huh..."  JenniAnn's face flushed.  "I didn't know then..."

"That we would, in our own way?"

"Yeah."

"Me neither.  Never in a million years would I have imagined..."  Andrew's voice cracked. 

JenniAnn caressed his face.

"No...  I wouldn't have either."

Andrew pulled her closer.

"You make me happy like no one else can, Laja.  Even... even when it seems otherwise, in my soul... I'm happy."

"Love..."

JenniAnn stretched up for a kiss then sighed. 

"I think after this dance, I need to get my dance with Joshua and then as wonderful as this all is..."

"Make our way to the cabin?"

"Yeah..."

"Sounds like a plan."

The two finished their dance together and then, on cue, Joshua approached.

"Could I cut in?  I believe Belle would like a dance with her Daddy."

"Absolutely.  And I'll go find her."  Andrew kissed JenniAnn's forehead then left her with Joshua.

"Oh...  Marty.  Good choice," JenniAnn murmured as she moved into Joshua's arms.  "'Cast your eyes on the ocean.  Cast your soul to the sea.  When the dark night seems endless...'"

"'Please remember me,'" Joshua finished.

JenniAnn smiled tearfully at him.

"Always."

Joshua returned her smile.

"How ya doing, little bird?"

"Good.  Just... I have a feeling Andrew and I are going to be meeting with you soon to discuss... things."

Joshua nodded solemnly.

"Please know that Dad and I are very aware of how things have been going but... Andrew has his pride.  And it's usually the good sort of pride.  If I just switch up his work without him asking..."

"He'd be upset and hurt.  I know..."

"He's so good at what he does.  But... it comes at a cost.  And I never want that cost to be too much."

"I know." 

Joshua squeezed her hand.

"Just try to have a good night together."

"We will."  JenniAnn let out a calming breath.  "What was it like for you when we were younger and trying to figure things out?"

"Remember when you first watched The Office and Jim and Pam had all that unresolved tension?"

JenniAnn laughed.

"Oh no!"

Joshua smirked.

"It was absolutely like that but imagine you created Jim and Pam and loved them utterly."

"Oof."

Joshua rested his head on hers.

"But I knew things would work out.  Still do."

"Good."

"Hey, so, I snuck something into your overnight bag.  Don't worry!  I didn't actually look in the bag," Joshua promised.

Giggling, JenniAnn shook her head in amazement.

"Every time I think my life couldn't get more surreal... I have a member of the Trinity sneaking something into my overnight bag for a romantic get-away with an angel."

Joshua laughed.

"Well, thank you for whatever it is.  And now..."

Loreena McKennitt's vocals faded away.

Joshua stopped dancing and embraced JenniAnn.

"I really hope you have a good night, JenniAnn.  You and Andrew both."

"Thanks."  JenniAnn kissed his cheek.  "You too.  Now to say good bye and head out."

JenniAnn sought out Andrew and they made the rounds as quickly as possible.  Then they grabbed their bags and began the trek to the Fields of Gold.  The whole time, JenniAnn wondered what mysterious item was in her bag.


Andrew sunk into their bed as JenniAnn continued to unpack her bag.  He always marveled at how much she could cram into a small suitcase.

"Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed.

"What is it?"

"Well, Joshua told me he snuck something into my bag and..."  JenniAnn sat beside Andrew and handed him a mixed CD.  "I must have made this clear back in 2000 and misplaced it."  She grinned.  "All songs that made think of you.  'Angel of Mine' by Monica... a bit on the nose.  'More Than Words' by Extreme.  Ooh...  'Fade Into You' by Mazzy Star."

Andrew chuckled.

"Guess he thought we needed some 90s music tonight.  You wanna put it on?"

"Sure.  Just don't blame me if anything aged badly.  I was only 18 last I touched this, after all."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

JenniAnn started the CD then returned to her bag.

"Just give me a few minutes and I'll be right out."

"Take whatever time you need, Laja.  So comfy."  Andrew sprawled out.

"I mean... I could just take the couch if you're so comfy there by yourself," JenniAnn teased.

Andrew grinned at her.

"Absolutely not."

"All right then."  JenniAnn kissed his forehead.  "Back in a bit."

Andrew sighed as she disappeared into the bathroom.  He smiled and shook his head as "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx started playing.  But his amusement changed as he actually listened to the lyrics.  Teenaged JenniAnn might have been a trifle dramatic but she also wasn't wrong. 

"Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you."

That was exactly what she did, day after day.  No matter where in the world he went, no matter what his assignment entailed; she was always back at Willowveil... waiting and ready with a cup of tea, a hug, a kiss, more...  His eyes filled.

He was so incredibly blessed.  He had no right to feel the way he sometimes did... so alone, so weighed down.  She was right there, waiting to share his burden.  And yet...

Andrew's train of thought was interrupted by the bathroom door opening.  JenniAnn reappeared, clad in a filmy, rainbow shift-style nightgown.  She looked like a technicolor Botticelli come to life.

"Laja...  You look..."

JenniAnn slid into bed beside him. 

"I wanted something special for Pride month but wow...  Everything rainbow was either some mesh monstrosity fit for an adult club or a potato sack.  So... tie-dyed this myself."

"You look beautiful.  Like... Botticelli's Venus if she was wearing a rainbow."

"Aww...  I do know how much you love Botticellis."

Andrew shook his head.

"I liked them well enough.  But I only really love them now because they remind me of you."

"Andrew..."  JenniAnn kissed him.

Andrew returned her kiss as "Angel of Mine" began to play.  He set a trail of kisses down to her collarbone.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I... I love you, too." 

Andrew felt her heartbeat quicken as he straddled her thighs and his hands drifted to her hips which he gently massaged.

"Are they still sore from yesterday?" he checked.

"No... but I won't say no to that."

Andrew smiled as her eyes drifted closed.  He tried to commit ever detail of her peaceful, contented face to memory, wanting to hold onto the image for when he needed comfort.

JenniAnn opened her eyes and reached up to brush some hair behind the angel's ear before pulling him closer to her and kissing his neck as "More Than Words" started.

"That poor eighteen year old who curated our playlist.  So lovesick and forlorn... she had no idea what was coming."

"She wasn't the only one."  Andrew thought back on his younger self.  "But truth be told... I had it easy when you were eighteen.  I just thought I'd gotten a bunch of new friends who I would love like little sisters.  But when you got into your twenties..."  He breathed shakily as he remembered first seeing her after the terrorist attacks of 9/11... how he'd clasped her to him.  He thought of how, in the years that followed, he'd sometimes dreamed of her coming to him and holding him as he slept. 

JenniAnn buried a hand in his hair and gently tugged.

"I know that now.  So... so we both know how it felt to be apart.  Now we never have to be again."

Andrew nodded.  He blinked back tears and rolled off of her. 

"Laja..."

"Yes, love."  JenniAnn turned to her side to face him.

The tears broke through and slid down Andrew's face.

"I... I'm not doing so well."

JenniAnn gave him a sad smile as she brushed away his tears.

"I know, love.  But I'm glad you told me."

"I've not been lying.  I am happy when I'm here.  When I'm with you.  But I feel like... my assignments are lingering with me much longer than they usually do. I just... I can't seem to stop thinking of them... thinking of ways in which they're like us.  And how I would feel if... if I lost you...  If I hurt you."

"You would never hurt me, Andrew.  Not intentionally," JenniAnn assured.  "And even on the rare occasion you do unintentionally..."  She kissed him.  "You always make it up to me."

"Laja..."  Andrew brushed his thumb across her lips.  "I feel so much heaviness.  I think that's why I've been so tired."

"Probably.  Have you considered talking to Joshua about it?  Maybe you could go back to caseworking for a bit?"

Andrew rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

"I don't know..."

"I know you love being an AOD."

"I do."

"But maybe right now just isn't the time."

"Maybe...  Would it bother you if I wasn't an angel of death?"

"Bother me?  Andrew, why would it bother me?"

Andrew heaved a sigh and dragged a hand through his hair.

"I don't know...  Guess I just always felt like that was part of why you were drawn to me."

"Andrew..."  JenniAnn straddled his waist and peered down at him, holding his face in her hands.  "I mean yeah... it did in the beginning.  But I was a weird kid.  Honestly, probably woulda been a goth if not for, ya know, being more than a little hung up on Jesus aka Joshua.  So, sure, the angel of death thing appealed to me.  But that was forever ago.  Like... literally more than Shelby's entire life ago.  I love you because you're you.  And that's true whether you're an AOD or caseworker or... or the angel in charge of halo production."

Andrew chuckled as the song shifted to "Fade Into You."

"I get your point."

"Speaking of halos... halo-y."  JenniAnn glanced down to where Andrew had begun running his hands up and down the fabric covering her thighs.

The angel's face flushed.  He'd finally unburdened himself... enough at least to feel somewhat less weighed down.  Now he just wanted to, well, fade into her.

"Closer..." he requested.

"Yes, my love."

The two giggled as Andrew reached for the hem of JenniAnn's nightgown in the same instant she went for his T-shirt.  Soon, they were sorted and clinging to each other beneath the sheets.

"Whatever you face... we face it together."

Andrew nodded as he rested a hand over JenniAnn's heart then kissed her lips. 

"I love you." 

"I love you, too."

Then Andrew only knew the bliss and peace of being with her until he drifted to sleep.



Andrew awoke to the sight of JenniAnn standing in front of the window across from their bed, the sun lighting up her hair and the edges of her nightgown.

"My angel..." he murmured, his voice groggy with sleep. 

JenniAnn smiled as he got up and joined her, looping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her head as they both looked out at the sunlit field.

"Good morning, my love."

"G'morning, Laja.  You look even more angelic in the daylight."

"Thanks.  You look..."  JenniAnn wiggled around and ran her hands over his bare chest.  "Studly."

Andrew chuckled. 

"Thank you."

"I thought maybe before breakfast we could sneak in a couple of dances,"  JenniAnn suggested.

"Mmm hmm.  I'd like that."  Andrew imagined her in the sunlight, against the backdrop of the wildflowers.  He hoped she'd let him take at least a couple photos. 

"Andrew..."

The angel came out of his reverie when JenniAnn gently clasped his chin.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for confiding in me last night."

Andrew stroked her back.

"Thank you for listening to me."  He waggled his eye brows.  "And for everything else."

JenniAnn laughed.

"Yeah... everything else was pretty darn nice."

"Glad you agree."  Andrew winked then turned to the CD player.  "So does eighteen year old JenniAnn have a couple songs for us to start the morning with.  I'll admit I lost track after 'Fade Into You' when, well..."

JenniAnn smirked.

"Let's see..."  She looked at the song list in her purple cursive.  "Ooh.  Yes." 

Andrew grabbed the CD player then held his free hand out to her.

"Then shall we greet the day?"

"Happily."

Once out in the yard, JenniAnn cued the first song then looped her arms behind Andrew's neck.

"Aww, Celine," Andrew recognized as "Because You Loved Me" started.

"I thought you'd appreciate that."

"Mmm hmm..."  Andrew rested his head on JenniAnn's and breathed in the scent of her hair as they swayed together.

They remained that way through the entire song and then Vanessa Williams' "Save the Best for Last" before finally breaking apart.

"Now... how about some breakfast?" JenniAnn suggested.

"Definitely but... photos first?" Andrew asked hopefully.  "I want to always remember my rainbow Venus."

Laughing, JenniAnn rolled her eyes.

"I suppose..."  She tweaked his chin.  She wasn't the biggest fan of having her photo taken but it was something they'd started one night after he'd come home upset following a stint as a crime scene photographer.  Andrew loved taking photos and that had gotten under his skin.  So what better way to cheer him up than taking a series of classics-inspired photos?  Now it had become a thing...  "I do hope you have plans to explain this to our children before you come Home to me years from now.  Imagine them getting into your phone and there's a whole folder of this sorta stuff?" she teased as she literally hugged a tree for effect.

Andrew chuckled as he snapped a photo. 

"If it makes you feel better, I'll ensure any phone or whatever our tech has morphed into by then goes with me."  He took her hand and led her to a spot where only fields of flowers and mountains were behind her.  "3...2...1."  He took another photo.

"Lemme see."

Andrew handed the phone over.

JenniAnn's face softened as she looked at the images.

"I... actually feel really pretty when I see how you see me."

"Laja..."  Andrew embraced her and nuzzled her hair.  "You are pretty... not just when I look at you.  But, more than that, you're kind and smart and brave."

"Love..."  JenniAnn kissed him then whispered in his ear.  "And I'm also hungry..."

Andrew chuckled.

"All right.  No more photos.  Time for breakfast."

"Yay!"

JenniAnn smiled as Andrew looped an arm around her waist and they headed back inside to enjoy the rest of their morning together.

\\

JenniAnn stood in the hallway, dressed in one of her best dresses, and shouted.

"We need to leave in fifteen minutes!  I don't want us to be late for the anniversary dinner."

Violeta came out of her and Shelby's room, putting on her earrings as she walked.

"Is Andrew home yet?"

JenniAnn frowned and shook her head.

"His assignment must be running late.  But he knows where we'll be if..."

"I'm here."

JenniAnn turned to see Andrew standing in the door to their room.  Her heart sunk when she saw how tired he looked.

"Love..." 

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Andrew assured once JenniAnn had reached him and closed their door behind them.  "Only need five minutes to get dressed."

"Are you sure?  I'm sure Catherine and Vincent would understand if you need to stay home.  I could even stay with..."

Andrew adamantly shook his head.

"Absolutely not!"  He kissed JenniAnn's forehead.  "I can sleep tonight.  Besides..."  He smiled.  "Look at you.  You're not dressed for a night in.  You're dressed for dancing... and I intend to enjoy that."

JenniAnn smiled as his hands slid around her waist.

"All right..."

"I'll get one of my suits.  A gray one, I think.  Pick a tie for me?"

"Okay."

True to his word, Andrew only took five minutes to change.  As JenniAnn was tying his tie, there was a knock on their door.

"We're all ready!" Belle shouted.

"Be right out," JenniAnn called back. 

Andrew brought her hands to his lips once she'd finished with his tie.

"Thanks."

"Welcome.  You're absolutely sure..."

"Absolutely sure, Laja.  This is important to me.  It's family.  And... I'm sure they'll have coffee."

"True..."

"Now, let's head out."

"Sounds good."

Hand in hand, Andrew and JenniAnn left their room together and escorted their family to the gazebo and then the Tunnels beyond to celebrate Catherine's and Vincent's wedding anniversary.


JenniAnn stood at Andrew's side in the Great Hall and watched with tears in her eyes as Catherine and Vincent waltzed.  They looked so happy.  Despite the inner turmoil she felt about Andrew, seeing the couple who had helped raise her dance together heartened her.  Catherine and Vincent had been through so much, more even than she fully knew, and yet here they were... still dancing and laughing in their sixties and seventies. 

When the music ended, the two shared a kiss as everyone clapped and cheered.

Andrew squeezed JenniAnn's hand.

"I'm gonna get another coffee.  Anything for you?"

"I'll take some of the punch, thanks."

"Okay.  Be right back."

Once Andrew had stepped away, Vincent approached while Catherine went to share a dance with their son.

"Psyche..."  He held a hand out.  "Would you care to dance?"

JenniAnn beamed and nodded then followed him out onto the dance floor.

"I can remember when you taught me how to waltz by standing on your feet.  Sadly, I'm not much taller now."

Vincent chuckled at the memory.

"You were a quick learner.  And it's served you well."

JenniAnn glanced over at Andrew who smiled as he raised his coffee mug to her.

"Yes..."

Vincent let go of her hand just long enough to cup her chin.

"Psyche, what's wrong?"

JenniAnn blinked back tears.

"It's your anniversary...  I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Are you in any danger?"

"Oh!  No!  Nothing like that.  Just..."

Vincent noted JenniAnn glancing Andrew's way again.  He frowned.  He had thought the angel looked a trifle unwell.

"We'll talk of it tomorrow then?"

JenniAnn forced a smile and nodded.

"'Young as she is, the stuff/ Of her life is a great cargo, and some of it heavy:/ I wish her a lucky passage,'" Vincent quoted.

JenniAnn's smile grew more tender.

"That's lovely.  Thank you.  But I don't recognize it.  Who is it?"

"'The Writer' by Richard Wilbur.  He's speaking of his daughter as she struggles to write a story.  It made me think of our Shelby but those lines...  They remind me of all of you children."  Vincent peered over at Catherine and Jacob and then at the wider crowd.  "I'm a very blessed man to be surrounded by so many people who love and support me."  He turned back to his Psyche and brushed some hair behind her ear.  "And we love and support you, too.  In whatever you're facing, I pray you know that you're not alone."

JenniAnn squeezed his hand and shoulder.

"I do know.  Thank you.  I've been so blessed, too... to basically have two fathers, two mothers, two communities who love and care for me.  And you and Catherine... you more than anyone showed me what it is to love wholly and unconditionally... without care for what society says.  I'm so glad we have this chance to celebrate you both."

Vincent beamed.

"I'm grateful that you came... grateful for the beautiful grandchildren you and Andrew have given us.  And, of course, for bringing Isra and Behnam into our lives along with their children."

JenniAnn grinned.

"I'm a little jealous of you.  I hope one day I have nearly a dozen grandkids and great-grandkids."

Laughing, Vincent hugged her to him.

"You have plenty of time. Sometimes I can scarcely believe my little Psyche is a grandma at all."

"Yeah, well, it helps to adopt a kid when he's in his twenties."

With a chuckle, Vincent ended their dance.

"So it does."  He pressed a kiss to JenniAnn's hair.  "Thank you for this.  Now go dance with your Andrew."

"Happily."  JenniAnn hugged Vincent then went to join her beloved.  "How's the coffee?"

Andrew handed her her punch then took a sip of his coffee.

"Delicious and energizing.  Just what I needed.  The punch?"

"Yummy.  Good thing there's plenty more dancing to come, though, so I can burn off this sugar."

Andrew squeezed her hand.

"Give me a few minutes and then I'd love to head out there with you."

"No rush.  I'm fine to sit for a bit."

Andrew led JenniAnn to a table and pulled out a chair for her.

"Thank you, love."

"Welcome."

Once they were seated, JenniAnn peered at Andrew as he surveyed the crowd.  He really did look more lively. 

"Vincent and Catherine looked so great out there.  So much in love," he observed.

"They really did.  I was just telling Vincent how much I learned from them both.  It's not that growing up with my parents was bad at all.  Not like they fought tons.  But they did fight some.  But Vincent and Catherine...  I mean I know they had disagreements.  How could they not?  But they were never cruel to each other."

Andrew laced his fingers with hers.

"That... that's so important."

For a moment, JenniAnn saw his eyes glaze over.  Then the moment was gone when he took another sip of his coffee. 

"I'm glad our kids are growing up seeing that, too.  From Vincent and Catherine, of course, but..."  JenniAnn smiled lovingly at Andrew.  "Also us."

Andrew kissed her hand then gasped.

"I love this song.  Dance with me?" he requested.

JenniAnn nodded then giggled when he chugged the last of his coffee.

"Sure.  It's a good one."

Once they began to dance, Andrew softly sang the lyrics into JenniAnn's ear.

Tears welled in her eyes as he reached the fourth verse.  For all the times she'd heard it, it seemed especially poignant in that moment.

"'Through the years as the fire starts to mellow, burning lines in the book of our lives.  Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow, I'll be in love with you.'"

Sniffling, JenniAnn pressed a kiss into Andrew's neck.

"Laja..."

She pulled back enough to look into his eyes and smiled.

"Nothing.  Just emotional."

Andrew returned her smile.

"Hard not to be tonight."

JenniAnn rested her head back on his shoulder, lulled by the music and the gentle beat of Andrew's heart beneath her hand. 


Later that night, Andrew woke with a start.  He calmed down when he realized that the weight on his chest was JenniAnn who was sleeping peacefully.

He'd had the nightmare again.  He could remember running through dark woods, branches scratching at his face and snagging his clothes.  He'd felt fear and grief and anger.  But still he had no memory of whether he was running away from something or someone or to something or someone.

Gently, he ran a hand across JenniAnn's hair.

He listened for any sign of trouble in the castle but heard nothing.  Likely all the kids were asleep. 

JenniAnn stirred and Andrew wrapped his arms around her.  She sighed softly then made no further movement.

Andrew let his mind wander over the past few weeks.  He tried to pinpoint when exactly he'd begun to feel so unmoored.  Certainly things had been an emotional whirlwind since November.  It wasn't even so much who had won the election that bothered Andrew as it was the fact that so many people had voted for him after a campaign filled with racism, sexism, and just about every -ism and -phobia that existed.  Even after he was gone, they and their hatred would remain. 

But those first few months had been productive.  They'd hurried to build a lovely home in Asteriana for Behnam and Isra and their family "just in case"... only to have them move in on Inauguration Day.  Then there had been a series of musical revues at St. G's, each raising money for different causes.  But now the theatre was dark for a few weeks.  Everyone was exhausted and it was harder to rehearse when kids were out of school.  Along with other Friends, he, JenniAnn, Max, and the two older girls had started going to protests and demonstrations.  And, each time, Andrew felt lighter.  There were so many like-minded people out there, so many people who wanted to do what was right.

Then there were the more difficult moments...  In March, there'd been an incident at The Green Carnation with some hateful graffiti and broken windows.  Just a week later, he'd had to cut ties with a repeat customer because they'd become irate when he'd refused to carve a cross-turned-white supremacy symbol into a set of bar stools.  In early April, Shelby and Violeta had simply been leaving a library in NYC when a man had started shouting homophobic things at them.  Shelby hadn't worn her rainbow messenger bag since.

And through it all there was the constant stream of horrifying news.  ICE raids, unforeseen weather events, acts of war, funding cuts, programs meant to promote well-being completely axed...  He'd stopped reading the paper at the breakfast table because the headlines scared Belle and Avi. 

His assignments were the hardest to bear.  Too many times he'd been called to bear witness to hate crimes and suicides.  He had sat at the death beds of people whose loved ones had been hauled away by masked agents of the government.  And he'd sat beside others who wondered why family members wouldn't visit them.  He'd had to bite his lip to keep from saying "Because you sold them out and degraded them for a felon who doesn't give a damn whether you live or die!"

All of it had been so hard but Andrew couldn't help but feel that something had truly broken in him the night Oscar and Alfie were killed. 

His Laja had done everything she could to help him.  But she couldn't be with him on those assignments and he would never want her to be.  God was with him but, for the first time since he'd been promoted, that didn't feel like enough.

Andrew blinked back tears and swallowed a sob, not wanting to wake JenniAnn up.  He was glad she seemed to be unaware of how many of his nights played out like this of late.  As he had on those nights, he prayed the Lord's Prayer over and over in his head until he calmed.

Finally, exhausted, he nuzzled JenniAnn's hair then went back to sleep.


JenniAnn smiled when she entered Vincent's and Catherine's chamber and found them waiting with a pot of tea and a plate of sweets.

"Aww, you don't have to entertain me like a fancy guest," she said as she entered and hugged them.

"You're much better than a fancy guest," Vincent countered.

"Absolutely.  And we thought some sweets would help.  And, of course, tea always helps."  Catherine handed JenniAnn a cup.

"Mmm.  Chai.  Thank you!  I still feel a bit bad showing up the day after your anniversary."

"You shouldn't.  We invited you.  We could have chosen a later day but..."  Vincent took one of JenniAnn's hands and patted it.  "We're concerned."

"I know...  You know me so well."

"Let's get comfortable and then you tell us exactly what's going on."  Catherine patted the spot on the old Victorian couch between her and Vincent.

JenniAnn felt like a child as she settled between them.  The effect was very calming. 

"I... well... I'm afraid that Andrew is depressed.  Like... seriously.  I don't just mean I think he's sad.  It feels... cyclical and... like it's starting to impact his life.  I mean... he's still fulfilling all his responsibilities.  But he just seems so exhausted even though he's sleeping more.  And... and a couple weeks ago I guess it was... he came back from an assignment and I found him just standing in the yard in the middle of the night, in the rain, sobbing."

Catherine and Vincent exchanged concerned glances.

"And Marty is worried, too, and he thought I should talk to you because of... well..."

Vincent reached across his goddaughter to squeeze his wife's hand.

"My past."

JenniAnn nodded.

"I... I know I was really little when whatever happened happened.  And I know there were some wild theories but... from the little bits and pieces I've pieced together... you don't have to tell me but... were you..."

"Depressed," Vincent interrupted.  "Yes.  And I'm sorry if my lack of openness made it harder for you to come to us now but... you're my child.  I never wanted to burden you."

JenniAnn hugged his arm and, in her familiar child-like gesture, wrapped her fingers around one of his.

"I get that.  Believe me I get that...  I've been hoping the kids didn't notice anything.  But Evie did and I'm sure it's only a matter of time before the others..."

"Shelby and Violeta suspect something is wrong, I'm afraid."

JenniAnn looked at Catherine in surprise.

"Owen overheard them talking last night.  They'd snuck off just the two of them and didn't realize he'd run back to his and Graham's chamber to grab a gift for us.  He told me about it this morning because he wasn't sure if he should tell you.  I said I'd discuss it with you."

"Ugh...  My poor girls...  I... I'll talk to them.  But for now... can you please tell me what from your own experiences might help me to help Andrew now?"

"Yes.  But first, you have to understand that it wasn't until fairly recently that I even fully understood what had happened myself.  I had my first major depressive episode as a teenager.  Father tried to treat it but to no avail.  So... he assumed it had something to do with my condition.  And then when it happened again when you were little, he assumed the same and so did I.  But... as you know... after you were shot, Catherine and I started seeing Libby.  I was so afraid it would happen again.  Like maybe something in me would... would resurface."

"Oh, Vincent..."  JenniAnn hugged him.

Vincent kissed her hair before continuing.

"When we described everything to her, she said it sounded just like a major depressive episode.  Both times.  And probably when Father tried to treat it, well... we know my chemistry is different.  So, through no fault of his own, it may have made things worse.  Both times... I felt like I was losing myself.  I even... a couple of times I saw myself.  Like a hallucination... but a darker, meaner version.  And... I had no energy.  No ability to focus."

"At one point he collapsed in my apartment and slept fitfully for days," Catherine recalled, shaking her head at the memory.  "All I could do was lay with him and hold him.  No one came in and no one came out until he was at least somewhat better."

"That first time... Father pulled me through it.  And the second... my wife did."  Vincent beamed at Catherine. 

"I'm so glad.  So... do you know what caused it?"

Vincent nodded.

"The first time... do you remember Lisa?"

"Yeah.  The ballerina.  She used to visit sometimes."

"Yes, that's her.  Well... my teenaged self fell madly in love with her.  Or so I thought.  Looking back, I realize now it was merely infatuation.  And when she didn't return my feelings...  Well, I fell apart.  And then in the 80s..."  Vincent's eyes filled.  "It was a very bad confluence of events.  Catherine and I were struggling with our relationship.  I was so scared to take the next step... scared I would hurt her.  And then you went away.  And then..."  He shook his head.

Catherine stroked his back.

"Vincent witnessed a brutal murder of a young woman during one of his nightly walks."

"No..."

Vincent nodded solemnly.

"So I think you can understand why I was so concerned it would happen again after you were shot.  But... having Catherine at my side and the talk therapy with Libby... I think it made all the difference."

"I do, too," Catherine confirmed.  "Vincent... he's like your Andrew.  He feels so much responsibility for so many, many people.  And so it's hard for him to not hold things in.  He'd prefer to keep silent than risk his words bringing someone pain.  So...  There were signs that Father and I should have seen.  But... he was our protector, our sage.  We didn't want to believe..." She sniffled.

JenniAnn stared down at the ring that Andrew had made her.  He was those things to her, too.

The reflective silence of the chamber was interrupted by JenniAnn's phone ringing while Catherine's rapidly chimed. 

"That... can't be good," JenniAnn murmured as she stood up to withdraw her phone from her pocket.  She looked at the caller ID and frowned.  "Hi, Violeta, what's..."

As JenniAnn voice died off, a concerned Catherine handed Vincent her phone which was displaying texts from Shelby.

"All right.  I'm headed back right now.  I'll be right there, honey.  Just..."  JenniAnn ran for the chamber door and through the tunnels with Catherine and Vincent following her.  "No, just let him be.  I'll go in when I'm there.  I'm running to the portal now.  Are Belle and Avi there?  If they are, just keep them away, okay?"  She strained to make anything out as Violeta and Shelby seemed to be talking amongst themselves  "He... he wouldn't want them to see him like...  I'm at the portal.  I'm coming through now."

Once she was in the gazebo, JenniAnn dashed towards the castle.  She gasped when she saw several mysterious gashes in the front lawn.  With Catherine and Vincent still trailing behind her, JenniAnn ran into the castle and up the stairs.  Outside her and Andrew's bedroom, she found Violeta and Shelby clinging to each other and crying.  Once they saw her, they quickly moved into her arms.

"I'm here now...  I'm here.  Where are Belle and Avi?"

"Still at... at... Behnam's and Isra's.  They wanted to watch Coco but Belle forgot to bring it so we came back to get the DVD and... and we saw Andrew sobbing and... and..."

Shelby picked the story up when Violeta broke into sobs.

"Screaming and he was just whacking the ground with a spade.  I... Psyche, I'd never seen him like that.  When he saw us, he looked so... so sad and so sorry.  And he said as much.  He apologized then ran into the castle and your room and we tried to follow but he closed the door and... then... then we called and texted and..."

Trying to remain calm, JenniAnn fought tears.

"Thank you for telling me.  I'm so sorry you had to see that.  I know Andrew would never have wanted that."

"Girls, why don't you come to the kitchen with me?  We'll make some tea," Catherine suggested.  "And maybe give Joshua a call?"

"I think that's a good idea," JenniAnn agreed.  "Where's Marty?"

"Also at Behnam's and Isra's," Shelby answered.

"Okay, good.  Can someone text him to let him know to keep Avi and Belle there?" JenniAnn requested.

"I will," Violeta offered.

"Thanks.  Now go enjoy your tea."  JenniAnn forced a smile.  "Everything will be okay."

Once they were gone, JenniAnn turned to Vincent.

"I'm staying with you, Psyche... at least until we know what Andrew needs."

JenniAnn hugged him.

"I... I appreciate that.  But... he's so proud, Vincent.  Just... trust me?  I'll yell if I need help."

Vincent sighed then nodded.

"Thank you." 

After giving her godfather a brave smile, JenniAnn opened the bedroom door.

Her heart broke when she saw Andrew crumpled on their bed, his body shaking with sobs.  She closed the door behind her then crept towards the bed. 

Despite her recent theorizing, JenniAnn knew in that moment that this was NOT an Andrew she had met before.  What she had seen recently was so similar to the early aughts.  His smiles hadn't lit up his eyes like they once had.  He'd been slower during their walks.  He'd seemed tired.

But this was more.  This was worse.  This was dangerously close to what she'd imagined he'd been like after Golgotha.

She'd felt helpless during their early years.  And she still felt helpless.  But now she could at least do something she'd only been able to long for then.

JenniAnn climbed onto the bed and laid beside Andrew.

"C'mere, love," she murmured, gently tucking his head beneath her chin.

Then JenniAnn wrapped her arms around the bereft angel.  She curled a leg around his, pulling them closer, too.  Her eyes filled when she felt his tears and ragged breath against her neck.

"I have you, Andrew.  Let it out.  I... I'll be here.  I won't let you go.  I'll never, ever let you go."

"Laja..." the angel croaked out.

"I'm here," JenniAnn repeated.  "I won't leave.  I'm here.  I love you.  I love you.  I love you."

And, true to her word, she clung to him in the hours that followed.


That evening, Joshua and Marty prepared dinner for the household.  The former had come as soon as Catherine had called with the latter joining once he'd been given the all-clear to bring Belle and Avi back.  The two had only been told that their Daddy wasn't feeling well and, reared in the age of COVID, they didn't give much thought to why he and their Mama weren't leaving their room.

"Dad asked him about reassigning the case," Joshua confided.  "He said he could handle it.  And... and he did.  It was just the aftermath..."

Marty patted Joshua's back.

"I assumed as much.  But Andrew is proud... and often stubborn.  And he knew he'd do a good job."

Joshua nodded before pulling one of his Ama's handkerchiefs from his pocket.

"He did a wonderful, loving job.  I just wish..."

"It must be hard...  Knowing when one of your children is going to collapse and yet not being able to do anything because you gifted us all with free will."

"It is hard.  And I know it's hard for you to record it after the fact."

Marty brushed at the corner of his eye.

"Especially when it involves them.  I know we're not supposed to have favorites but..."

"But they're your... our... hopes and dreams made into flesh and spirit.  I understand."

"Are you going to see him when you bring them their dinner?"

Joshua shook his head.

"Not yet.  He's not ready for me yet.  Right now... he just needs her."

"'For love is as strong as death,'" Marty recited.

Joshua smiled and patted his arm.

"That it is, my own.  That it is."


Andrew awoke feeling like his brain had been turned into some sort of heavy mush.  He was aware that he was in his bedroom and that JenniAnn was quite literally wrapped around him.  But he felt like he was experiencing it all from some distance. 

It was the pain that finally grounded him.

Andrew felt like every bone and muscle in his body was aching. 

JenniAnn awoke and squeezed him.

"My love..."

He saw the question in her eyes and, just as quickly, saw it fade away.  She knew now was not the time to ask.  He couldn't talk.  Not yet.

In lieu of talking, there would be action.

JenniAnn stroked his face.

"I'm going to run you a bath.  With epsom salts.  You're so tense."

"Laja..."  Andrew's hand went to his throat.  Why did he sound so hoarse?  Then he remembered the yelling and screaming...  And the girls staring at him in horror.  "The girls..."

JenniAnn nuzzled his shoulder.

"They're fine.  Concerned, of course.  But fine.  Catherine got them sat down with some tea."  She gently patted his throat.  "I'll make some for you, too.  With honey."

Andrew didn't want to be a burden.  He didn't want her fussing over him.  She had better things to do. 

"You were at my beck and call when I had COVID."  JenniAnn lifted his bowed head.  "Fair's fair.  And... and I want to be here."

Andrew blinked back tears and nodded.

"Yes, please.  To the bath and tea."

JenniAnn smiled with relief.

"Good.  Be right back."

Andrew watched her as she started their electric kettle then the bath water.  Soon he could smell the lavender and jasmine of her oils.

JenniAnn returned and held her hand out to him.

Andrew rose, groaning as he did.  On top of the pain, his legs felt rubbery and like they might fold beneath him.

JenniAnn helped him into the bathroom and out of his clothes and into the tub.  When she turned to leave, he clasped her hand.  She bent down to kiss his hair.

"Just let me get your tea and change the bedding really quick and then I'll come back.  Promise."

Andrew's face flushed.  He hadn't noticed but there was probably mud all over the bedspread.  The ground had been a bit damp from an earlier rain when he'd decided to vent his anger on the poor grass.

Once JenniAnn had presented it to him, Andrew obediently sipped his tea and soaked.

Then, true to her word, she sank into the water behind him, her hands working into his tense back and shoulders.

She didn't ask any questions and Andrew was grateful for that.  He didn't have any answers.  But at least his throat felt better.

"Thank you," he murmured.

"You're welcome." 

Tears welled in the angel's eyes as he felt her lips graze the back of his neck.

"I checked my phone.  Ivy and Sy have invited Shel and Violeta to stay with them for a couple of days.  And the grandparents are vying for time with Avi and Belle... pets included.  Vincent will see to it that everyone in the barn is cared for.  And... Marty and Joshua are on room service duty.  We're not to leave the room until you want to leave the room," JenniAnn reported.  "That last part was from Joshua."

"Joshua..." Andrew repeated, his voice husky with gratitude and love.

JenniAnn wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

Andrew closed his eyes for a few moments.  He wanted to go back to sleep.  For a moment, his head lolled back onto JenniAnn's shoulder.

"Let's get into pajamas and back into bed."

Andrew nodded wearily.  He could only remember feeling this exhausted once before.  It was worse even than right after the incidents that had caused his TBI.  Worse than Belle's longest colicky spell.  Worse even than after JenniAnn had been shot.  This was how he had felt the day Joshua had died.  Like every ounce of energy had been wrung from his body.

At least JenniAnn was infinitely preferable to Gaius, kind as he had been.

JenniAnn got out and wrapped a towel around her body then helped Andrew out.  She dried him off and helped him into his pajamas and then back into bed.

He sighed as he breathed in the scent of the fresh sheets.

"I'll be right back," JenniAnn vowed after pressing a kiss to his forehead.

She was only in the bathroom for a few moments before emerging in her rainbow shift.

Andrew's eyes filled as he remembered their night in the cabin.  It seemed so long ago. 

"I'm here.  Rest now," she murmured as she sunk back down beside him.

Andrew rested his head on her shoulder and clung to her.

He drifted to sleep as she softly sang to him.


Andrew awoke to JenniAnn speaking to someone.  He raised his head enough to see her at the door, taking a tray.  It must be lunch time.

JenniAnn turned back to him and Andrew briefly saw Marty close the door behind her.

"Oh good.  You're up.  It'd be good to get some dinner into you."

"Dinner?" Andrew asked in disbelief, his voice hoarse again.

"Yes."  JenniAnn set the tray down.  "You've been asleep for about eight hours.  But that's good.  You obviously needed it."

"What did you do that whole time?"

"I slept a little, too.  Gazed longingly at you."

Andrew gave her a trembling smile.

"And, yeah, I read a bit."  JenniAnn handed him a plate of pasta, salad, and fresh bread.  "Please try to eat, love."

"I will, thanks.  Looks good."

JenniAnn took one of Andrew's hands in hers.

"'Bless us, O Lord, for these Thy gifts which we are about to receive from Thy bounty through Joshua, our Lord.  Amen,'" she prayed.

"Amen."

The two ate quietly for a few minutes with Andrew keenly aware that JenniAnn was watching him like a very enamored hawk.

"I... I'll get better, Laja.  I got through watching Joshua suffer and die.  I'll get through this," Andrew assured.  "I don't want you stuck in here like... like my Abishag."

JenniAnn choked down the pasta she'd just forked into her mouth.

"Abishag...  Really, Andrew?  You are no diminished, shambling King David.  And a good thing, too, because if you showed up here with even one concubine, let alone 300, I would roast marshmallows over a burning heap of all your clothes in our front yard.  And I am hardly a young virgin keeping you warm in your bed.  I'm very nearly middle-aged and, I mean, if we're gonna get technical, this was my bed first.  You got into it.  So maybe you're my Abishag."

Andrew couldn't help but chuckle.

JenniAnn cradled his chin.

"You are not King David and I am not Abishag.  I don't think there was any true love there.  But I love you.  Heart and mind, body and soul.  If you want to get biblical...  'Love is strong as Death, longing is fierce as Sheol.  Its arrows are arrows of fire, flames of the divine.  Deep waters cannot quench love, nor rivers sweep it away.'  Death, Sheol, fire, flood...  I'd face it all for you.  I was with you in the Beginning.  I truly believe that.  And I will be at your side at the End.  I'll face all that comes with you... because I cannot imagine life without you.  Andrew, being with you now... it's a blessing.  I'm so sorry that you're not feeling well and that your heart and soul are heavy.  But I'd still rather be with you than apart from you... even if that means sadness.  We can help each other through it.  I know we can."

Andrew rested his forehead against hers.  He wanted to make an impassioned speech, too, but the words wouldn't come.  Only...

"We can.  I love you, my Laja."

JenniAnn gently kissed him then resumed eating.

"Raquel and Nico have Belle and Avi tonight.  Then my parents will take them tomorrow.  Then Isra and Behnam on the third and Catherine and Vincent on the fourth.  There's a grate with a wonderful view of the fireworks so we figured they'd like that.  And... everyone is ready to repeat if needed," she reported between bites.

"I hope it doesn't come to that."

"Me too.  But we'll manage either way.  And I just... I want you to know... I'm not going to press.  I trust that, when you're ready, you'll tell me about what happened.  Okay?"

Andrew nodded.

"Good."  JenniAnn let out a contented sigh after taking another bite of food.  "We'll eat well.  That's for sure.  Can't go wrong with the Son of God and a being so old that's he's seen every way food can go right and wrong."

"Very true.  It is delicious."

JenniAnn lifted a cover off a dish.

"And Isolde and Marco sent over cannolis for dessert.  Maybe with some more tea?"  JenniAnn set a hand against Andrew's throat.  "How's it feeling?"

"Better.  But I wouldn't turn down some chamomile after this."

"Good.  I don't want you to get dehydrated."

It was in that moment that Andrew wondered why, as much as he felt the same as he did on that first Good Friday, he hadn't completely shutdown as he had then?

Of course, it was her. 

Gaius and his wife had only been able to offer him an extra bed and some cool cloths on his forehead, like any person of goodwill would do for a sick stranger. 

But JenniAnn loved him.  JenniAnn knew almost everything he needed or wanted without him having to speak.  She tethered him to his mind and his body even as both felt strange and distant.

"Are you ready for dessert?" she asked after he'd slowly cleared his plate.

Andrew shook his head. 

"Not yet."

"Me neither."  JenniAnn placed a pillow in her lap.  "Come here, love."

Grateful, Andrew rested his head in her lap.

For several minutes, JenniAnn did nothing but rub his temples and softly hum.

Andrew gave a rueful smile but didn't comment when he realized the tune was Coldplay's "Fix You."


Andrew felt like his heart was going to thud out of chest when he awoke.  It was that awful dream again.  The woods, the darkness... and this time it had taken on a new, terrible element.  He'd been able to hear JenniAnn screaming but he couldn't find her any where.

In reality, she was asleep beside him, her hand resting over his heart, her head on his shoulder.  He calmed himself by burying his face in her hair and softly stroking the silky rainbow covering her hip.

He wondered where he would be if they hadn't met, hadn't made a life together.  He knew it was possible, of course, that he simply wouldn't be so emotionally involved in his assignments if not for her.  He'd always felt for humans, of course.  How could he not?  He was created to love and care for them.  But it was different once he'd held his own children and grandchildren, seen his own aging face in the mirror, and wiled away hours in the moonlit company of the love of his life.  Sometimes he felt more human than angel.  Really the only things that separated him from them these days were sex and death.  And while he knew he couldn't say for certain, he genuinely felt like what he'd come to share with JenniAnn had to be on par with sex at least in terms of social bonding.  On occasion, he'd heard coupled assignments on business trips rejoice over the prospect of having a bed all to themselves.  But he hated it.  The room could be over 80 degrees and it would still feel cold.  He needed her.

And death?  No, he'd never have to face his own death.  Earth would pass away and he'd still be alive.  But his relationship with death had definitely changed.  Or, at least, with dying.  He'd always known that death could be a beautiful thing.  It was the beginning of reunions, of peace, of coming Home.  But dying... dying could be slow and painful and wretched.  And he felt his heartbeat begin to quicken whenever he thought of his Laja or their children dying. 

So even in sex and death, his experience had become more aligned with humans.

So then it wasn't surprising this was all happening now.  Just as so many forces had worked together to kill the human he loved best 2,000 years ago, Andrew saw similar forces gathering now.  Already, some of his assignments were falling victim.  How long before they came after his friends and his family?

Andrew began to cry again.  He tried to keep quiet and still, not wanting to wake JenniAnn.  But she was too close.

"Shh... shh...  I'm here.  I'm here," she whispered as she woke up. 

Just as she had the previous morning, she wrapped herself around him and held him close as he wept.


Andrew woke up just as JenniAnn was taking their breakfast tray from Marty. 

"Oh good!  You're up.  I think we both could do with a little sunshine.  How about breakfast on the balcony?" she asked.

"Sounds good."  Andrew sat up and stretched.  "I can get the cushions out."  He rose and headed towards the chest where they'd stashed them before the last rainfall.

"No, no.  You just..."

"Laja... let me do something.  I may be an emotional wreck but my legs aren't broken."  Andrew kissed her temple then began pulling the cushions out.

"I just don't want you to overtax yourself.  You're so rundown is all," JenniAnn fretted.

"I'll be sitting back down soon... with a delicious breakfast and charming company."  He plopped the cushions down then joined them, smiling up at JenniAnn over his achievement.

"Love..."  JenniAnn placed the tray on the balcony floor then settled down beside Andrew and hugged him.  "Are you feeling any better?  It's okay if not.  Just... you seem a bit better.  But... I also know this... it doesn't just go away.  But... I hope you can have good moments as we figure it all out together."

"Right now... I'm good.  I'm comfortable and I'm with someone I love very much."  Andrew kissed her hair.  "But... I just want to know... what exactly do you think 'this' is?"

JenniAnn let out a shaky sigh.

"I... well... I... I've been wondering about depression."

Andrew felt a bit of weight lift from his shoulders as she said it.  He nodded.

"I think so, too."

JenniAnn began to delve out their breakfast, pouring Andrew his black coffee first.

"How do you feel about that?"

"I... I'm not sure.  It was easier, in some ways, with the TBI.  I could pinpoint the exact moment I got hit as the start.  But with this..."  Andrew dragged a hand through his hair.  "I'm not sure.  It's occurred to me that I've had moments where I didn't quite feel like myself ever since we got attacked by the demons.  And then... then I feel like ever since Oscar and Alfie got killed..."  He brushed at a tear.  "Maybe it started there.  But then I think even further back and...  I... I think maybe this is a more severe version of something I've faced before without putting a name to it."

"When I look back...  You seemed so sad during those last months before Monica's promotion.  I wondered..."

"Me too."  Andrew squeezed JenniAnn's hand.  "But then... only a few short years later...  Things got better between us.  And I had so many moments of just... pure joy, Laja."

JenniAnn quietly sipped her coffee then met Andrew's gaze.

"When I was with Eliot...  Did... did that cause..."

Andrew gently hugged her.

"No, Laja.  No...  That was just plain old heartbreak.  The girl I loved... even if I wasn't yet allowing myself to think that way... loved someone else.  Once you broke up, all those sad feelings went away.  But this..."  Andrew's voice cracked.  "You have given me everything I could ever want and yet..."

"The sadness is still there."

Andrew nodded.

JenniAnn laced her fingers through his and brought his hand to her lips.

"Then we'll work together to figure out what needs to happen for you to feel better."  She rested her forehead against his.  "Now eat.  We both need to keep our strength up."

Andrew stole a kiss then nodded and dug into his breakfast.


That afternoon, the two moved outside for an al fresco lunch beneath their willow tree.  Neither commented on the fact that someone, likely Joshua, had healed the damage to the lawn. 

The sunshine and soft grass were welcome relief to JenniAnn.  She had fully expected to, like Catherine before her, spend days upon days nursing her beloved in their bedroom.  That the walk to the tree seemed to have drained Andrew was, however, alarming.

After they'd finished and the dishes had been packed back into the basket Marty and Joshua had prepared for them, JenniAnn placed a pillow in her lap.  She didn't even need to pat it before Andrew had lowered his head onto it.

As she held her worn, treasured copy of Rilke in one hand, JenniAnn stroked Andrew's hair with her other and began to read.


JenniAnn blinked back tears as she finished.  She gazed down at Andrew, her own pure and noble creature. 

"Do... do you think the unicorn ever wished he had stayed in the realm of imagination?" she asked.

Andrew rested a hand on one of her knees and gently squeezed.  It was not lost on him how she had gendered the unicorn.

"No, Laja.  I think he wanted to be with the maid.  If you could... could you please read 'God Speaks to Us'?"

JenniAnn nodded.  She recalled reading it at Chava's funeral.  Andrew knew it was not a light ask.  And, yet, suddenly she longed to hear it, too.


"None of us enter into life alone, Laja.  Even when it's hard to see, God is holding our hand.  And... I am twice blessed.  I have God holding my hand.  And I have you... holding me together."  Andrew sat up and held his arms out.  "Now... let me return the favor?"

Weeping, JenniAnn settled into Andrew's lap.

"I... I wish none of this was happening to you."

"I know."  Andrew's lips grazed her forehead.  "Me too.  But it helps so much to have you face it with me.  I love you, Laja.  So much."

"I love you, too... so much."

The two clung to each other as the willow's branches whipped lightly around them in the summer breeze.


On the porch where he was watching over the couple with Joshua, Marty sniffled.

"They break my heart sometimes," the angel admitted.

Joshua wrapped an arm around the angel's shoulders as he blinked back tears.

"I know the feeling."

"I know you do..."

The two sighed in unison then Joshua brightened.

"How do you feel about making a French feast for the 4th?"

Marty chuckled.

"Seems a little unseasonable..."

Joshua grinned.

"Call it a tribute to Marquis de Lafayette.  I think it'd make Andrew smile."

"Then that's reason enough for me."

"Good."

Marty looked back to the couple beneath the willow tree.  JenniAnn had resumed reading.

"Does it..."

"Hmm?"

"Does it hurt at all that he clings to her and..."

"And not me?"

Marty nodded.

"'A man shall leave his mother and father and be joined to his wife.'  It's unseemly when parents still try to be the center of their children's lives after they've married.  They should be a reassuring, helpful presence... but they should also know when to step back and let man and wife... or any variation on spouse and spouse... figure things out for themselves.  I feel the same even when we're talking about angel/human anam caras and I'm the parent.  I'll be there.  Always.  But I accept that I won't always be the one the angel flies to first.  It's not hurtful.  Just... makes me a little wistful."

Marty hugged Joshua.

"And you'll make food."

"And I'll make food," Joshua affirmed.  "And I think for tonight... something light and bright and happy."  Joshua thought for a moment.  "Rainbow rotini with garden vegetables.  Fruit salad and red velvet cake for dessert... with sweet cream frozen yogurt."

"Sounds delicious."

"Glad you think so since we're eating it, too."

Marty chuckled then the two resumed their watchful silence.


After lunch, Andrew slept for several hours.  JenniAnn spent much of that time at his side, returning text messages and emails from concerned family and friends.

She was surprised when, around 4:00, a note was slid under their door.

Quietly, JenniAnn crept out of bed and read the note.

"You have a delivery."

After opening the door, JenniAnn found Joshua waiting in the hallway.  She immediately hugged him and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you.  For being here and for all the good food.  I'm sorry I've not been able to slip away but..."  She glanced towards the bedroom.

"I understand completely."  Joshua returned her hug and kiss then picked up a white box from the nearby settee.  "From Catherine.  She said to tell you that everything is freshly washed."

JenniAnn accepted the box and looked at it with intrigue.

"She also said that, if you're up for it, she and Vincent would like to visit tomorrow or Friday.  They thought it might help to finish your discussion."

"I'd really like that... I'll text her once tomorrow comes and I can see where Andrew is with everything."

Joshua squeezed her hand.

"Sounds like a plan.  I'm going to head back to the kitchen now.  Just know... I have plans.  But it would be better if Andrew shares more with you before I reveal those plans."

JenniAnn squeezed Joshua's hand back.

"I trust you.  And... hopefully soon."

"Yes.  I love you."

"I love you, too."

Then, after a final hug, JenniAnn returned to the bedroom.  She considered waiting to open the gift but her curiosity got the better of her.  Upon opening the box, she saw an envelope laying on a bed of silky fabric with "Psyche" written on it in her cousin's beautiful script.

Tears welled in JenniAnn's eyes as she read the card.

I hope this doesn't seem silly.  But I wish someone had given me this when Vincent was so bad off.  It would have reminded me of better times ahead... and there ARE better times ahead, sweet girl. 

Love always,
Catherine

JenniAnn let out a soft gasp as she examined the three nightgowns her cousin had picked for her.  They were all in the flowy, shift-style she loved but in different shades and prints.  Beneath them was a plush bat with a tag reading "Love, Vincent."  JenniAnn nuzzled the toy and set it on her bedside before returning her attention to the gowns.  They really were the perfect gift.  She'd gotten behind on laundry and definitely hadn't caught up.  Marty had offered but the idea of either him or Joshua washing her sleepwear was unseemly.  And JenniAnn hadn't wanted to resort to plain old pajamas.  She had intuited exactly what Catherine did.  The nightgowns were a reminder of better times, for her and for Andrew.

JenniAnn carefully folded them back into the box and then texted Catherine her thanks and a hope that she'd see her and Vincent.  Then, as she was getting back into bed, Andrew stirred awake.

"Laja... what time is it?"

"A little after 4:00."

Andrew winced as he stretched out.

"I feel so lazy."

JenniAnn slid behind him and began to massage his shoulders.

"You are one of the least lazy people I know, love.  Just... now is a time to rest."

"Aren't you bored?"

"No.  I think I needed the rest, too.  Not to sleep.  Just to... be still, I guess.  And I spent most of this last nap replying to our friends and family."

Andrew's face softened.

"I want to see them... tell them how grateful I am.  I just..."  He yawned. 

"I know, love.  In time.  And best to start slow when the time comes."

"Not gonna spring them all on me at another party in the ballroom for a made-up holiday?" Andrew kidded.

JenniAnn laughed then kissed the back of his neck.

"No, I think not.  Although I do hope Marty realizes he's started something with Summerween.  The kids aren't gonna accept it as a one and done."

"Nor should they.  How are the kids?" 

"Mom and Dad took Avi and Belle to the amusement park at El-Chanan so... they are sticky but happy."

Andrew chuckled at a photo of the two devouring cotton candy.

"I'm so glad we have El-Chanan so Avi can enjoy things like amusement parks and zoos."

"Me too.  And as for Shelby and Violeta... they tagged along on a trip to the Central Park Zoo."

Andrew smiled as he took JenniAnn's phone and perused through photos of the girls enjoying their day with Ivy, Sy, and little Isaiah.  There was no sign of the shock and horror from the day before.

"So they're all doing good.  They miss you.  But they know you need this time to heal."

Andrew nodded then sunk back against JenniAnn who held him close, wrapping her legs around his middle and her arms around his chest.

"Sometimes... I don't know how I got through 300,000 years without you."

"You did.  But now you'll never have another year without me."

Andrew sighed, feeling relaxed by the pressure of her holding him.

"Once we're on the other side of this... or at least on our way there... I'm gonna take you somewhere nice.  And we'll do fun things and... and more than just sleeping," he vowed.  "You deserve it after..."

"I'll look forward to it.  But... you don't owe me anything.  I meant what I said at our blessing ceremony.  If I received nothing else in my whole life, having you as my anam cara would be enough."

"But I want to give you everything I can."

JenniAnn smiled.

"Well, I guess I can't fight you on that cause I feel the same."

Andrew smiled, too, as she nuzzled his hair.

"Good."

With a contented sigh, JenniAnn kissed his cheek.


"That was delicious..." Andrew sunk back into his pillows after finishing off the last of his cake.

"It really was.  Definitely the best red velvet cake I've ever had."

"Agreed.  And I'm not surprised given who baked it."  Andrew bowed his head.  "I need to talk to Joshua soon."

"I know."

"Will you go with me when it's time?"

JenniAnn patted Andrew's knee.

"Of course I will.  You know that."

Andrew gave her a rueful smile.

"Still wanted to ask."

"Well, thank you."  JenniAnn piled the dishes back onto their tray then rolled her neck.  "I could definitely use a hot shower.  Care to join me?"

"Laja...  You're entitled to some alone time."

"I know.  But I really don't mind."

Andrew could tell that she was worried about him showering alone.  A thought suddenly occurred to him.

"Laja, you're not thinking about Ed, are you?  Shortly after he met Steve... the whole razor thing?"

JenniAnn's eyes went wide.

"Oh!  No!  I know you know better than that... both in the sense that discorporating isn't going to solve anything but also just that I know you wouldn't do that to me and the kids.  But with as groggy as you've been, I'll admit that a fall scares me some."

"Gotcha."  Andrew hugged her.  "Good.  Because, no, I wouldn't do that.  But I do want you to have some time to yourself so how about you enjoy your shower and I'll go take a bath in Avi's room?  Little to no fall risk with a bath."

JenniAnn nuzzled his shoulder and nodded.

"Sounds good."

"Take your time. I'm not going anywhere," Andrew promised wryly.

JenniAnn stretched up to kiss him.

"Thank you.  See you in a bit."

Andrew nodded.

"In a bit."

The angel watched her gather her things then disappear into the bathroom.  As he grabbed a fresh set of pajamas for himself, Andrew sent up a prayer of thanksgiving for Joshua's and Marty's care and for everything his Laja was doing for him.  Then he made his way to what had once been his own room and started his bath. 

Andrew felt his muscles relax as soon as he was submerged in the hot water.  It wasn't as nice as the baths JenniAnn prepared but it was definitely pleasant.  He hoped she was enjoying herself.  God knew she deserved it.  His cheeks flushed as he imagined her, enveloped in lavender and jasmine or rose and lily, whatever she'd chosen, as the water fell around her.  He remembered when she was younger and, as many girls were, concerned about her weight.  The old worries sometimes still resurfaced.  He knew that and he always tried to allay them.  She was better than a Botticelli and far more loved by her Creator.  And by him.

As much as he regretted how bound to their room she was, he couldn't wait to be back in bed with her.  He felt safe there.  And he could be sure she was safe there.

He would always keep her safe.


JenniAnn stepped out of the shower and into her robe then reached for the blow dryer.  She wasn't a fan of it but she wanted the night to be pleasant for Andrew in every way that she could control and dry hair was nicer than wet hair.  Once that was done, she got into the gown she had chosen for the night.  It wasn't exactly a rainbow but JenniAnn thought Andrew would enjoy the ombre dye that shifted from green to indigo to blue.  Standing in front of the mirror, she did a little twirl then smiled and opened the door.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Andrew, pacing around the room.  The color was drained from his face.

"Love!"  She hurried over to him, looped an arm around his waist, and guided him to their bed.  "What's wrong?  Has something happened?" 

JenniAnn felt unnerved when Andrew looked her way but seemed to be looking through her.  She grabbed one of his hands and pressed it to her chest then put her other hand over his heart. 

"Breathe with me, love.  In and out...  Nice and slow...  In and out..."

Andrew gave her a weak nod and obeyed. 

To JenniAnn's relief, his eyes began to focus.  She collapsed against him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Andrew... tell me what happened.  Please," she begged.

"First... let me hold you?" he requested.

"Of course."

Once Andrew had laid down, JenniAnn snuggled up to him.

"There we go..." she murmured as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I... I think I must have dozed off in the tub."

JenniAnn winced.  She knew he couldn't drown but still...

"And... I had a nightmare."

"The nightmare?"

Andrew nodded.

"Except this time... I remember it so... so clear..."  His voice cracked.  "So clearly.  And... I wish I didn't, Laja."

"Tell me, love," she repeated.  "Maybe I can help you face it."

"Laja...  You... you died."


Andrew and JenniAnn walked around Central Park, arms around each other's waists.  It had been a perfect night out.  A  visit to an art museum... a romantic dinner... ice cream from a food truck... and now a moonlit stroll.

"It's been too long since we've done this.  I'd nearly forgotten how to dress for dinner outside the castle," JenniAnn teased. 

Andrew playfully traced the line of one of her spaghetti straps.

"Coulda fooled me.  You look radiant."

"And you look..."  JenniAnn stretched up to look him in the eyes.  "Super handsome."

Andrew chuckled.

"Not just handsome.  Super handsome.  Good to know."

"Yup.  Your handsomeness has its own super powers."

"And what do those entail?"

JenniAnn gave him a coquettish smile and lowered her voice.

"Play your cards right and they could make this dress disappear once we're home."

Andrew burst out laughing then pressed a kiss into her hair.

"I've always been pretty good at cards..."

"Let's go home, love.  But first..."

JenniAnn stretched up again, this time kissing his lips.

Andrew wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for another.

Then he heard a voice.

"There she is.  Straight ahead!"

JenniAnn jumped back and looked around in confusion.

Andrew saw them first, a group of masked men all in black. 

"Run!" he shouted as he grabbed JenniAnn's hand and set off.

After a few feet, one of the men lunged at JenniAnn.  She yelped as the force tore her hand away from Andrew's.

"Get off of her!"  Andrew shouted.  "What are you doing?  Who are you?" he demanded.

Another man yanked off his mask and sneered at Andrew.

"You know who we are.  You've met us before.  We have different names.  Different symbols.  But we always come back, Andrew."

Andrew's eyes grew wide with terror.

"No!"  He threw himself at the man who was holding a terrified, screaming JenniAnn but another punched him hard in the stomach, causing Andrew to reel.

"All this fuss over a defective..." the man without the mask taunted.  "We'll take care of her.  You'll see her again soon."

Andrew, choking and holding his gut, tried to run after them as they disappeared into a wooded area with JenniAnn.  Tears streaming down his face, he tried to follow her screams.

"La... Laja," he choked out as he stumbled ahead.

Then he heard another scream, this one different than the others.  Sharper and more panicked.

And then a shot rang out.

"NO!"

Andrew forced himself forward, commanding his legs to run even as he struggled for breath.

Finally, he broke through the trees.

And there she was, sprawled on the ground and staring up at the stars.  There was a single hole in the center of her forehead and blood pooling around her.

Andrew fell to the ground, screaming.  He gathered her into his arms and rocked back and forth.

"Laja... Laja... No... Laja, no...  Come back... Laja...  I love you...  I need you...  I... I... love... you."


JenniAnn pressed her forehead against Andrew's and cradled his face in her hands.

"I'm here, love.  I'm here.  Safe in your arms.  I'm alive."  She lowered one hand so she could again place one of Andrew's over her heart. 

Andrew focused on the thump... thump... thump... 

"I'm so sorry you saw that, felt that," JenniAnn continued.  "It... it seems like a mash-up of stuff that's, horribly, going on right now, your memories of the Holocaust, and when Rex shot me.  Probably some off the demons attacking us, too.  I truly think that's all it is, love.  I don't think it's a vision or a premonition or anything like that."

"You don't know that..."

"No, I don't.  And I'm also not so naive as to say it could never happen in the U.S.  I know many of the Germans believed it'd never happen there.  And... something like it is already happening... not with the disabled yet.  But immigrants are getting torn from their families and facing violence.  I know that.  I promise you that if... if the signs start pointing that way for disabled people, I won't leave here and El-Chanan.  I... I hate that I just said that.  But I mean it.  I do, love."

"Laja...  I never wanted to limit you but... I'm scared."  Andrew pulled her close again, needing to feel the heat and weight and energy of her living, breathing body against his.

"I know...  I'm scared, too."

"I..."  A yawn cut Andrew off. 

"You're exhausted.  Sleep, Andrew.  We'll talk more about it tomorrow.  Cause... cause we do need to talk about it.  But not when you can barely keep your eyes open."

"I'm scared to fall asleep... to go back."

"I'm not tired yet.  I'll watch over you.  And if it looks like you're starting to get agitated, I'll wake you up.  I promise.  Okay?"

Andrew nodded.

"Laja... so lovely..."  He stroked her back, calmed by the softness of her gown and hair. 

"I love you, Andrew..."

"Love you so much..."  Andrew used the last of his strength to kiss her hand.

His eyes began to flutter as JenniAnn sang softly.


Andrew awoke first the following morning after what, as far as he knew, had been a dreamless sleep.  For that he was grateful.  He gazed at the sleeping JenniAnn.

They had come such a long, long way from who they had been when they'd met.  In the old days, he had been so afraid of confiding in her.  Part of that was, of course, because she'd only been a teenager.  And she'd deserved to finish out her adolescence without an onslaught of trauma. 

But then 9/11 had happened and there was no shielding her from that. 

Still, the other reason had remained.  Andrew had been afraid of her indifference.  It seemed completely ridiculous now.  Because of course it had been ridiculous.  She was not Monica.  She was not Tess.  As much as he loved them, he knew JenniAnn was right in her critique of how they had sometimes treated him.  Still, he missed working with them.  But he wondered sometimes whether it was healthier for him to work alone or work with other angels who were, at least, company even if not particularly empathetic.  He worked with Violeta sometimes, of course.  But that was different.  She was so young and so new to the would.  He didn't expect her to know how to deal with his emotions.  He didn't even want her fretting over him like that.  She was still a kid to him and she deserved to be shielded.  He hated that she and Shelby had seen him so overwrought on Tuesday.

JenniAnn had proven, time and again, that she could bear it all.  And she was never indifferent.  She held him when he needed to be held.  Listened when he needed to speak.  And she poured her love out onto him when he just needed a break from it all, when he needed to lose himself in her and their love.

So why could he not tell her about what had happened on Tuesday?

JenniAnn's eyes fluttered open at that moment.  She smiled sleepily at Andrew and reached over to caress his face.

"Love..."

Andrew nuzzled her hair as she nestled her face into his neck.

"G'morning, Laja."

"G'morning.  How did you sleep?"

"Better.  No more dreams.  Thanks for keeping watch."

"Mmm...  Welcome." 

Andrew softly stroked her back.

"You look beautiful.  I... don't think I told you last night.  Is this new?"

"Mmm hmm.  Catherine got it for me.  Not a full rainbow but..."

"I love it.  I love you."

"I love you, too."  JenniAnn kissed him then sat up.  "Speaking of Catherine... she and Vincent would like to visit sometime today or tomorrow before they get the kids.  But only if you're up for it."

Andrew thought for a moment.  He wouldn't mind speaking with Vincent.  No offense meant towards Catherine but JenniAnn had repeatedly told him that he reminded her of her godfather.  Maybe it would help to speak to someone who was similar.

"That actually sounds really nice.  I'd like to have a few minutes to talk with Vincent."

JenniAnn beamed. 

"That's great!  They'll be happy.  I need to finish the conversation I was having with them when... when everything happened.  But you can talk with Vincent first while Catherine and I enjoy a little girl time.  Sound good?"

"Sounds great."

"Good, I'll let them know in a bit."  JenniAnn sniffed the air.  "I smell syrup."

"I'll set the cushions down if you want to grab the tray?" Andrew offered.

JenniAnn snuck another kiss then nodded and got out of bed.

"Perfect."

When she returned, Andrew had the cushions situated and had lit a candle.

"Ooh, nice."  JenniAnn set the tray down then squeezed Andrew's hands and blessed the food.

"Did you sleep okay, Laja?" Andrew asked with concern, remembering how he'd dumped his nightmare on her.

"I did actually!"  Her cheeks flushed.

Andrew smirked.

"A good dream?"

JenniAnn nodded, still blushing.

"We were back at the cabin.  It was nice."

Andrew softly squeezed her knee.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been as attentive as I want to be.  I want to...  I really do."

"Andrew... I know.  Don't feel bad.  I want you to rest and feel better far more than I want to canoodle, pleasant as that is.  Besides, cuddling and kissing is nice.  And we've been doing plenty of that."

Andrew smiled and nodded.  That was true enough.

"That's been nice... but I promise I'll take you back to the cabin as soon as I can manage it.  And wherever we want to go from there."

"I'll look forward to it."  JenniAnn rested her hand over Andrew's then focused on her waffles and fruit.

In between bites of his own breakfast, Andrew gazed at her, grateful that she didn't seem to mind.  She was alive and well and that, at least, made him happy.


After briefly visiting with Catherine, Marty, and Joshua in the ballroom; Vincent made his way up the stairs and to Andrew's and Psyche's bedroom.  He paused outside the door for a few moments, remembering when he'd first come to the castle.  He had helped Psyche get her bookcases and bed setup and been proud of her for making a place, a community for herself.  But in some ways she had still very much been a child.  More than once he'd camped out in the adjoining room after some noise or another had spooked her.  He never could have imagined that she'd end up sharing the room with an angel of death, raising children with him, and being so much in love with him that sometimes Vincent worried... but he'd come to realize that those worries were just Father's old worries for him, reborn.  And so many of those worries had been off-base.  Yes, he and Catherine had struggled at points but most of that pain had arisen because of the fear Father had instilled in him.  Vincent empathized with his father.  He knew he'd only been trying to protect him.  But it had been wrong and damaging.  And so, though the circumstances saddened him, Vincent was glad he had this opportunity to help Psyche and her Andrew.  He thought he could offer them something Father never gave him: a way forward together.

Vincent brushed at a few tears then cleared his throat and knocked on the door.

"Vincent..."  Psyche opened the door and hugged him.  "Andrew is on the balcony, enjoying a little sun.  That okay?"

"That's perfect."  Vincent squeezed her hands.  "I'll come find you when we're finished.  Catherine is in the ballroom."

"Sounds good.  Thanks for this."

"It's my honor."

Vincent smiled after Psyche as she headed towards the stairs then made his way to the balcony.  Even though Catherine had relayed to him the content of some messages she'd received from Psyche, the sight of the angel still shocked him.  He'd never seen Andrew appear quite so depleted.

Andrew looked up and gave Vincent a wan smile.

"Hey, Vincent.  Thanks for coming."

"I'm very glad to be here.  How are you feeling?" Vincent asked as he sat across from the angel.

"Tired.  Tired of being tired...  And... sad," Andrew choked out.

Vincent patted his arm.

"Have you spoken to Psyche about what happened?"

"Not yet.  Soon.  I promise.  We've spoken about some other things that have been bothering me, though.  We... we finally got to the bottom of a recurring nightmare that's plagued me."

"Good.  I'm glad.  That's progress."

"Yeah."

"Why haven't you told her about what happened on Tuesday?" Vincent gently pressed.

Andrew sighed and dragged a hand through his hair.

"I know it will upset her.  And... and I'm afraid she'll be disappointed in the way I behaved afterwards."

"Hmm...  I'm not so sure I believe that."

Andrew's head shot up.

"I mean... I believe that's your reasoning," Vincent clarified.  "But I don't believe Psyche would be disappointed in you.  I think you're harder on yourself than anyone else would ever dream of being... let alone the woman who loves you.  Andrew, we're the same in so many ways, you and I.  We're good, obedient sons.  We were reared to protect and care for those around us.  As we grew, we both realized that many in the wider world viewed us as monstrous, as beings to be feared.  And all the angst that caused... we bottled that up and we kept those feelings inside... until we each met a Chandler woman.  And we grieved because we both convinced ourselves we could never love them in the way they deserved to be loved, we could never make them mothers... at least not in the way we thought they wanted.  So we tried to keep them away, to put barriers between us and them.  And that caused only pain.  For us and for them.  But... Catherine and JenniAnn may be small and slight compared to us... but they are mighty.  And maybe a little scary."

Andrew chuckled softly as Vincent smiled.

"Because there's something innately frightening about someone who we feel should be a little frightened, a little intimidated and just... isn't.  It's not that they're insensible or deluded.  Quite the opposite.  They believed in the possibility of us before we could allow ourselves to.  And, determined, nothing was going to stop them from pursuing us... except, of course, our outright refusal and neither of us was capable of that."

"No...  I couldn't," Andrew agreed, his eyes misty.  "I tried numerous times to gently push JenniAnn towards the life I thought she should have but... but I never could entirely cut ties because... I... I wanted her... needed her... loved her."

Vincent nodded.

"I know the feeling... and I know it to be mutual in both our cases.  And now I know that, from the beginning of time, you were fated by God to be together.  Just as Catherine and I were.  And so... if He's been waiting since the dawn of time to see you two together... do you truly believe He would let it end or even be diminished by whatever it is that occurred on Tuesday?"

Andrew blinked a couple of times then shook his head.

"No... no.  You're right."

"Thank you.  And... I am also not naive.  I know it will cause you some pain to tell her, both in seeing her reaction and in reliving it.  But I fully believe it will be worthwhile.  Because you won't forget... but you will have someone at your side when the memory hits you anew."  Vincent's eyes filled when he thought of all the painful memories he had shared with his Catherine.  But each time, she buoyed his spirits and returned hope to him.  He knew Psyche could do the same.

"I will talk to her.  If not tonight then... very soon," Andrew vowed.

Vincent hugged him.

"Good man.  And now... I have to speak to Psyche myself.  Would you like me to send someone to sit with you?"

Andrew shook his head.

"No.  No, I think I'd like the time alone to think about everything I want to say to her.  But thank you."

"You're welcome."

The two rose and Andrew returned Vincent's hug.

"Thanks again.  And for taking care of the kids tomorrow."

"It's truly our pleasure.  Being a grandfather is a delightful thing!"

Andrew beamed.

"Yeah, it really is.  See you soon?"

"See you soon."  Vincent shook the angel's hand then left him alone with his thoughts and his plans and went in search of his wife and godchild.


A few minutes later, JenniAnn was once again seated between Catherine and Vincent, this time in Willowveil's library.

"Remind me again where we left off on Tuesday?" Catherine requested.

"You told me about Vincent's second bout with depression.  How he held things in and you and Father didn't see the signs."

"Right.  So the first step was reiterating to him that it was safe, necessary even, to be vulnerable with me.  Yes, he was... is... my protector and the wisest man I know... besides Joshua now, of course... but that didn't mean I didn't want to protect him sometimes, to listen to and advise him sometimes.  I think you've succeeded in convincing Andrew of that," Catherine assured.

JenniAnn smiled hopefully then turned to Vincent.

"So... what do I do now?  What did you need next?"

Vincent took one of her hands in both of his.

"I think the hardest part...  when I was older, I could speak of my sadness.  I could hear my sadness echoed back to me in the poems I read.  But it was the anger that festered..."  Vincent's eyes darkened.  "Anger at a society that did such a poor job of caring for its own that a young girl would have to sell her body to survive, only to be slaughtered by rich young men looking for a rush.  Anger that some let the finest foods rot on too-full tables while children dug in trash bins behind restaurants.  I saw so much ugliness in that world that was mine and yet not mine.  I felt so helpless...  I think it was the anger and the helplessness that fueled my depression that second time."

Tears rolled down JenniAnn's cheeks.  She wept for her godfather as a younger, troubled man... and she wept for her Andrew.  He was bound to a world not his own and yet one he loved so much.

Vincent heaved a sigh.

"In time, Catherine helped me to see that I wasn't helpless.  She helped me find a balance between caring for myself and caring for the people of the Tunnels... and to find little ways to help those Above.  And... you came back to me.  My little Psyche."

JenniAnn smiled softly as Vincent hugged her.

Vincent rocked with her for a few moments before speaking again.

"But the thing that helped me the most... she let me hear her own anger."

JenniAnn jolted.  That was definitely not what she was expecting.

"What?  How do you mean?"

"I think we had both been trying to protect each other, to preserve this fairy tale image," Catherine responded.  "Don't get me wrong, I definitely shared some details of my work with Vincent.  And he often told me of what he witnessed during his walks.  But I never spoke of the simmering rage down in my core.  The rage over being so often overlooked in my classes growing up in favor of boys since 'they'll get a real job one day, you just need to find a husband.'  The rage over helping a college roommate shower because she was so shaky after being raped that we were afraid she'd slip and hit her head.  And, yes, the rage over everything I saw, too... of the evidence photos and details in cases that will be burned into my brain until the day I die.  And later... I told him about the... the rage over having to face abusive parents in court when my own little one died in my womb."

The three sat silently for a few moments, arms around each other, as they remembered Jamey.

"As awful as Vincent's breakdown was, it was the beginning of a truly honest relationship between the two of us," Catherine concluded.  "We'd been so concerned about upsetting the other that we'd missed so many opportunities to lament together."

JenniAnn nodded and bowed her head.  So much over the last few months had rocked and upset her.  But she'd largely kept quiet, wanting to preserve a peaceful home for Andrew.  She'd funneled her rage into texts sent back to Republican-paid bots that dared to message her, into creating signs for rallies.  She's typed madly into a blog that only she had access to.  But very seldom had she breathed a word of it to Andrew.

"That... that makes sense," JenniAnn murmured.  "I... I am angry.  And sad.  And scared.  And I haven't done a good job of sharing that with him.  But... I will."

Catherine and Vincent both hugged her.

"And if afterwards you need us... we'll be there.  Just as we always are," Vincent promised.

JenniAnn wrapped her fingers around one of his and nodded.

"I... I know.  Thank you."  After one more hug, she stood up.  "I should go check on Andrew now but thank you so much for coming.  Please give the kids a hug from us both when you see them?  Hopefully things can begin to get back to normal soon."

"We absolutely will," Catherine assured.  "And I hope they do, too.  Now... go be with Andrew."

JenniAnn gave them both a brave smile then returned to her room.  She stepped out onto the balcony where she found Andrew dozing.  Carefully, she laid down beside him, praying that soon they would find their light at the end of the tunnel.


After dinner, Andrew was pleased to discover that he didn't feel the need to immediately get back into bed.  He supposed sleeping through most of the afternoon was a good chunk of the reason but he'd take it.  Once JenniAnn had finished the last of her dessert, he reached over and took one of her hands.

"Laja, I was thinking... if you want... I'm up for a few dances in the ballroom.  Slow only, no swing, I'm afraid."

JenniAnn's face lit up and she set her other hand over his.

"I'd love that... if you're sure."

Andrew gave her a confident nod. 

"You pick the songs since you did so well last time."

JenniAnn laughed.

"My eighteen-year-old self did so well but... I think I can manage." She grabbed her cell phone off their dresser then took Andrew's hand again.

Once downstairs, JenniAnn turned towards the kitchen, hearing faint noises.

"Maybe I should go tell Joshua and Marty so they're not caught off-guard if they hear the music?"

"Sure.  See you in there."

JenniAnn squeezed Andrew's hand then released it and headed to the kitchen.

Andrew watched after her then stepped into the ballroom and closed his eyes.  He was going to enjoy these last few minutes of happiness before he kept his promise and told JenniAnn what was weighing on him.


JenniAnn was only a couple of feet away from the kitchen when Joshua hurried out.

"Halt!"

JenniAnn laughed and froze.

"All right... halted."

Joshua grinned.

"Marty and I are working on a surprise for tomorrow.  But do you need anything now?" 

"Nope, dinner and dessert were delicious as always.  Thank you!  Just wanted to let you know that Andrew and I are gonna dance for a bit in the ballroom."

Joshua stepped forward and hugged JenniAnn.

"That's great.  I'm glad he's feeling up to it.  Thanks for the heads up so Marty and I don't ruin your moment by rushing in to investigate phantom music."

"That's why I stopped by... but, actually, wouldn't your Dad tell you?"

"And miss the fun of watching Marty and me go running into the ballroom to solve a mystery?  No."

Laughing again, JenniAnn returned Joshua's hug.  He patted her back when she lingered.

"I... I think tonight might be the night," she murmured.

"I think so, too.  And I know you'll both support and love each other just as you have for years."

JenniAnn sighed and nodded.

"Thank you.  I'll see you in the morning.  Love you."

"Love you, too.  And you will, little bird."

JenniAnn released Joshua who gave her an encouraging smile.  Then she turned away and went to re-join her beloved.


Andrew held fast to JenniAnn as they danced to what he felt had to be the last dance of the night.  He could feel his strength waning and he needed enough for what would be a difficult discussion.  His eyes filled as he listened to the familiar song that felt newly poignant.

"If you're lost, you can look, and you will find me... time after time.  If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting... time after time."

When the music died away, Andrew gave JenniAnn a squeeze.

"Laja... I was thinking maybe we could get ready for bed then... then meet on the balcony.  I'd like to tell you... about Tuesday."

JenniAnn reached up to cradle his face.

"I think that sounds like a good idea."

Quietly, the two made their way up to their room.

"I'm feeling steady, Laja.  So I'm gonna take a quick shower in Avi's room but you take your time, okay?  I'll meet you on the balcony."

JenniAnn stretched up to kiss his cheek and nodded.

"I'll see you soon, love."

Andrew watched her gather her things and disappear into the bathroom.  He followed suit then took a quick shower before readying the balcony.  He wanted it to be as comfortable as possible.  To that end, he grabbed a couple of blankets.  It was not outside the realm of possibility that he and JenniAnn would fall asleep out there.  Then he lit the lanterns and prayed for strength as he waited.

After ten minutes, JenniAnn emerged through the curtains, causing Andrew to jump to his feet.

"Laja...  You look beautiful."

The angel swallowed a lump in his throat as he took in the rose-print gown covered in a lace robe that he always thought she looked lovely in.  On another occasion, he would have scooped her up and carried her inside and they would have kissed and cuddled and laughed together.  But not tonight.

"Thank you."  JenniAnn patted his hips.  "I appreciate the plaid."

Andrew glanced down at his pajama bottoms and smiled.

"A little hot for flannel... but plaid of some indeterminate fabric I can do."  He kissed her hair then motioned to the cushions.  "Let's sit down."

Once JenniAnn was seated, he settled beside her and took her right hand in both of his.

"So, umm, on Tuesday I was sent to a hospital in Texas."

JenniAnn tensed.

"The Father told me that I didn't have to take the case.  But... I'd said I'd wanted cases where... where a loving father figure was especially needed.  Because..."  Andrew wiped his eyes on the shoulders of his shirt.

"Because you are that," JenniAnn finished for him.

"Yeah.  And this case needed that.  So I went.  And it... it was awful, Laja.  She was only fourteen.  Abbie.  She was trans and so she'd chosen that name herself after so much thought and research.  It... it means..."  Andrew began to cry.

"'My father's joy.'"  JenniAnn wrapped her arms around the angel.  "I... I've always loved that name.  I would have suggested it for Belle but... she was our Annabelle from the first.  But it is such a lovely name.  She chose well."

Andrew nodded and took a couple deep breaths before continuing.

"But... but she wasn't her father's joy.  She so badly wanted to be but her parents...  They went all in on MAGA and an assortment of insanity even before that.  They did not support her transition at all.  And they were... are... diehard anti-vaxxers.  And Abbie had asthma.  So... so when she got measles..."

"Oh love...  Oh, poor Abbie."

"It... it was horrible.  She spent her last days in agony, struggling to breathe.  By the time I got there, her little body and her poor lungs were worn out.  And the doctors knew that.  And they told her parents that.  But what did they do in their child's final hours?  They watched Fox News' coverage of the damn 'Big Beautiful Bill.'  And Abbie just had to lay there and listen as they dead-named her and talked about what suit they'd bury her in."

JenniAnn felt her heart break.  She couldn't imagine overhearing her parents be so disinterested and disrespectful in her final hours.  But she thanked God that someone else was there.

"But you were there, my love.  You affirmed her, you comforted her."

Andrew nodded.

"But I was a stranger.  She wanted her parents.  But they betrayed her for the sake of a rapist felon who wouldn't shed a single tear if they dropped dead right this minute!" he spat out.

Hot tears began to streak down JenniAnn's face, too.

"I told her that God loved her.  I told her that God accepted her exactly as she is.  But I could see the heartbreak in her eyes, Laja...  She was so hurt, so betrayed.  And... and she asked me if I thought they were relieved that she was dying.  Because then they'd be rid of the embarrassment.  And I told her that they would miss her.  That... that they'd been warped by hatred but they still loved her.  And maybe they did, Laja.  They cried a little when she coded but.... but I think she was right.  I think they were relieved.  And I... and I... I hated them for that.  God forgive me but... I did.  I still... still do."

JenniAnn wrapped her arms around Andrew and gently rocked.

"I understand, Andrew.  I do.  And I think God must, too.  After all, you're here.  Not on Joshua's Island.  Here.  You're home.  And... and we're gonna work through it together.  Cause... cause the truth is..."  JenniAnn sucked in a deep breath as she reminded herself of what her cousins had taught her.  "Love...  I've been trying to hide it cause I want this to be a peaceful, love-filled home for you.  An escape.  But... the truth is I'm so full of anger that sometimes I feel like... like my heart is going to explode because I get so agitated.  I hate what that man has done to my country."

"I do, too," Andrew murmured, resting his forehead against hers.

JenniAnn peered into his eyes and the weariness and grief she saw there only enraged her more.  She kissed Andrew's forehead then stood up and began to pace along the railing as she let out everything she'd been holding in.

"I hate that so many alleged Christians have allowed him to have the power he does.  I hate that they turn into cry babies when someone wants to teach a lesson on slavery because they don't want their precious babies to feel guilty but then they'll plop them in front of The Passion of the Christ and tell them they did that to Jesus as a means of controlling them.  I hate that they sit in church and sing hymns about a merciful God and then applaud their dictator for separating families and throwing innocent people in makeshift jails.  I hate that they talk about the apostles and their 'zeal for the Lord' in sharing His word but the apostles, for the most part, were slaughtered.  And these people?  They glimpse a Pride flag and you'd think they were crucified upside down.  They're so obsessed with being seen as victims and cry about how they would gladly die for the Lord but they can't even manage to have a book they don't like at their kids' school without it being everyone's problem.  I hate that they say they're pro-life and then they use that as justification to vote for people who cruelly and callously make policies that snuff out life.  I hate that they tell queer people that they'll go to Hell if they act on their sexuality but applaud the twice divorced philanderer in chief.  I hate that I know for an absolute fact that if some of them saw our Joshua in their neighborhood, they'd lock their doors and call the police or, hell, ICE these days.  I hate that they turn a blind eye and ear to people being massacred in their homes or while waiting to collect donated food because they want a Holy War to bring their white Jesus back to them.  I hate that when I first meet someone wearing clear Christian markings, I have a moment of panic, wondering if they're MAGA.  And it's stuff I wear!  I hate that Behnam and Isra and the kids felt they had to move here to be safe.  I hate that Max feels betrayed by the country he was willing to die for.  And I hate that Shelby and Violeta are scared to wear rainbow stuff.  I hate that some of them would deport Belle if they could.  I am terrified that, somehow, one of his goons will find out about Avi and do God knows what to our baby.  And I hate that when you have nightmares about the Holocaust, I can't just hold you and tell you it's in the past.  Because Mark Twain was right... history doesn't repeat.  But it sure is rhyming now in the worst of ways.  And I hate that.  And I hate what that's doing to you.  And I hate what it did to Abbie... and Oscar... and Alfie... and so many others.  I hate it!" she bellowed.

Andrew had stared at JenniAnn in awe through the entire monologue, wanting to go to her and hold her but knowing he had to let her go on.  But when she bent over and began to sob, he leaped to his feet and pulled her into his arms.

JenniAnn felt the burning heat and the tenseness go out of her body.  She collapsed against Andrew. 

After a few moments, Andrew scooped her up and returned to the cushions, settling down with her on his lap.  When she had quieted, he brought her right hand to his lips then spoke.

"Laja...  I agree with everything you said.  And... and I'm sorry that you felt you needed to keep it bottled up inside.  You don't... and neither do I.  I... I did something after my assignment with Abbie that I've never done before."

Still softly crying, JenniAnn kissed Andrew then peered up at him.

"Tell me.  Please."

"After I took her Home... and she was so happy there, Laja... that part did my heart so much good... and I should have stayed there and then come to you.  But I didn't.  I followed her parents home.  And I watched them.  I watched them call their family members and tell them 'he' died.  And one of those family members...  she went off on them over the anti-vax crap.  And I know they were grieving.  I would have understood if they'd just broken down and hung up.  But they didn't, Laja!  They just started spewing nonsense and repeating RFK Jr.'s nonsense talking points.  And then once they finally did hang up, they went into Abbie's closet and pulled that wretched suit out from the back of her closet.  And that... that is when I lost it.  I know they couldn't hear me but I just screamed a-and screamed at them.  A-and yeah...  I did tell them that if their alleged beloved Lord showed up, they'd just crucify Him again... just like they'd sacrificed their daughter on the altar of Moloch.  And then... then I left.  And the girls found me."

Andrew sobbed quietly for a few moments before speaking again.

"I shouldn't have done it.  I know that.  But... but something in me broke.  It... it's just been too much."

"I know... I know."  JenniAnn began covering his face in kisses.

"Something needs to change before I do something I can't undo.  I... I can't ever come back here like... like that again, Laja.  I don't want to do that to you or to our kids."

"We'll figure it out, love.  We will."

Andrew nodded then tightened his hold of her.

"We... we need to start with being more honest with each other."

JenniAnn nodded as she softly stroked his chest.

"I know..."

"I should have known, Laja.  I'm sorry.  I knew you couldn't possibly be so checked out on the news.  That's not you.  I should have checked in more.  I should have..."  Andrew hung his head.  He'd also wanted to give Laja a peaceful home and all that had done had left her on the verge of a breakdown, too.

JenniAnn adamantly shook her head.

"I'm a grown-up woman, Andrew.  I should have spoken up on my own.  But I... I guess I wanted the escape, too.  I wanted to go to the protests and help with St. G's efforts... but then let it all go once we came through the portal.  I craved the fairy tale.  But we can't just hide away here.  Everything that happens back there... it follows us here."

"I'm afraid so."

"We'll talk to Joshua tomorrow.  Together."

Andrew gave her a tearful smile.

"Thank you."

"Whatever happens... we're in this together, love.  No... no politician can change that.  I am my beloved's..."

"And my beloved is mine," Andrew murmured before kissing JenniAnn.  "I love you so much."

"And I love you."

They kissed again then settled down into the cushions.  Andrew spread a blanket over them then turned to his side and tenderly brushed some hair behind JenniAnn's ear.  Adam was right.  He would never stop being in awe of her.

For her part, JenniAnn gazed adoringly at her Andrew who felt so much and gave so much to everyone he met. 

Eventually, they fell asleep.

A white butterfly perched on the balcony railing and kept watch, willing his love to them both.


After breakfast, Andrew and JenniAnn sat across from Joshua in the library, their hands joined.  He listened attentively as they told him about all they'd finally revealed to each other.  When they were finished, he hugged them both then sat back down.

"I'm so pleased and proud that you were able to be honest with each other.  And I agree that something needs to change.  So here's what I'm going to suggest..."

Joshua was interrupted by the sound of bickering in the hallway.

Andrew and JenniAnn glanced at the door with curiosity.  One voice was definitely Marty's.  But the second, feminine voice was unknown to them.

Joshua chuckled.

"Please give me a moment."

He rose and went to the hallway.

Andrew and JenniAnn strained to hear.

"Listen, I'm not here to horn into your weird uncle living in the attic shtick," the unknown female said.  "I'm here on official business."

"Marty, calm down.  She's only trying to help."

Sandy's voice, Andrew and JenniAnn recognized.

"Thank you, Sandy.  You were always my favorite."

"Hey!" Marty shouted.

"Children...  Everyone has a role here.  Andrew and JenniAnn are your brother and sister... not territory to be fought over," Joshua warned Marty.

Andrew and JenniAnn chuckled as they imagined the Watcher's chastened face.

"Let's all step into the library and I'll explain."

JenniAnn gasped quietly when Joshua re-entered the room with Marty, Sandy, and the newcomer.  She was a beautiful full-figured Black lady with an enchanting smile and magnificent cornrows that trailed all the way down her back.  She wore a shimmery caftan that looked like the night sky and golden star earrings that gleamed.

"Andrew, JenniAnn... meet Lailah."

Lailah peered at the couple and pressed her hands together as happy tears filled her eyes.

"Oh, look at you two...  You're so beautiful."  She turned back to Marty and Sandy.  "I told you they'd be beautiful.  Oh..."

Suddenly, Andrew and JenniAnn were pulled into her embrace.

"Lailah is the thirdborn of all creation," Joshua explained.

"The firstborn daughter," Lailah added proudly. 

"She is the angel of night, conception, and birth... physical and spiritual," Joshua continued to explain. 

Lailah stepped back so she could set a hand on Andrew's and JenniAnn's cheeks.

"I was there when you were created...  And I have been waiting a very long time to see you together, Andrew and JenniAnn."

"It... it's such a pleasure to meet you, Lailah."  Andrew squeezed her hand.

Lailah squeezed his hand back then smiled at JenniAnn.

"Please go hug Marty before he bores holes into the back of my head, baby girl."

JenniAnn laughed as she came out of her stupor and hugged Marty who gave her an affectionate squeeze back.

"Very good.  Now... I called Lailah here because, Andrew, I'd like you to have someone to talk to.  A counselor.  Jamie is too much a part of your group now to be an unbiased listening ear.  But Lailah can be.  So I'm going to have you meet with her once a week.  And, JenniAnn, I want you to know that she's here for you, too, when you need her."

"Happily," Lailah affirmed.  "I won't be lingering around like this one."  She waved towards her eldest brother.  "But just call on me and I'll be here."

"Exactly.  Now... if the three of you could please find some way to amuse yourselves without resorting to bickering... I'd like to speak to Andrew and JenniAnn alone," Joshua informed.

"Let's show Lailah the stable!" Sandy suggested.

Marty shrugged.

"I suppose."

"I will see you both soon," Lailah promised, hugging Andrew and JenniAnn once more before following the twins into the hallway and closing the door behind her.

"The Big Three."  Joshua shook his head and chuckled.  "Marty will adjust."  He waved for the couple to sit back down.  "Back to my plan...  Andrew, I have plans for you for tomorrow but then I'd like you to take a week off.  Spend time with your family.  You need it.  And then..."  He reached over and squeezed Andrew's hand.  "I think it would be best if you didn't work alone for a while.  Go look out the window."

Surprised, Andrew stood and, taking JenniAnn with him, went to the window Joshua indicated.  His eyes lit up when he saw a green convertible parked on the lawn.

"Is that..."

"Yours."  Joshua patted him on the back.  "It gets better mileage than the Jolly Green.  And just enough room for you and your new co-workers."

Andrew pried his gaze away from the gorgeous car.

"And who will that be?"

"Violeta will be going on more cases with you.  And also someone new... at least in this capacity."

JenniAnn felt Andrew growing anxious and she squeezed his hand.

"And... and who will that be?" the angel asked.

"A lovely girl.  You'll adore having her at your side as you resume caseworking duties.  To be very clear, unlike with Violeta, you won't be supervising her.  She'll be there to lend a hand, sure, but mostly to support you.  And, yes, I do think that's best for now.  You'll still do the occasional angel of death work.  But you were a wonderful caseworker, Andrew.  And I think, right now, that's where your time is best spent.  You can meet people where they are, while there's still time for them to change."

JenniAnn hugged Andrew.

"That sounds perfect, hmm?"

Andrew nodded, too moved to speak.  Of course Joshua knew exactly what he needed.

"And... and the girl?  Do we know her?" JenniAnn questioned, beginning to feel preemptively jealous.

"You both know her very well."  Joshua playfully bumped a shoulder against JenniAnn's.  "She's you."

Andrew gaped at Joshua while JenniAnn's whole face lit up.

Joshua hastened to pat Andrew's arm reassuringly.

"I'm not putting JenniAnn in harm's way, Andrew.  But think about it.  You'll be able to share in the joy and the sorrow.  Your assignments will mostly be short in duration.  They'll either be near the Sibling Cities or, if not, I'll see to it you have easy access to portals so you can still spend time with your kids.  Andrew, you deserve to feel supported and cared for during your assignments.  And I can't imagine anyone better to provide that than your anam cara.  I know you love Monica and Tess and they love you, too.  But that wasn't the perfect arrangement.  Not for you.  It gave you a longing for something more, something better."  Joshua smiled proudly at JenniAnn.  "Here she is, Andrew.  And think about the impact it could have on your assignments.  You've always had a soft spot for women who have fallen on hard times.  But that often means they struggle to trust you because of what they've suffered.  But when they see you out and about, doting on the woman you love... that'll mean something, Andrew.  It really will."

The panic Andrew had initially felt dissipated.  Joshua was right.  JenniAnn was everything he'd longed for in a co-worker.  Even though the answer was written on her face, he had to ask.

"Laja, what do you think?"

"I love it!" she gushed.  "It's the perfect solution."  She smiled at Joshua.  "Because of course it is.  I want to do this, Andrew.  I really do."

Joshua cupped Andrew's face in his hands.

"You are my beloved child.  You have my heart... and I don't want it broken.  You deserve happiness, Andrew.  So what do you think?"

Andrew let out a deep breath then smiled.

"I love it.  I love you both so much."

He pulled Joshua and JenniAnn into a hug.

"I'm so glad.  I love you both, too, and your love for each other brings me so much happiness.  Now..."  Joshua gave the couple a squeeze then stepped back to look them in the eyes.  "I think you should call the older girls home.  Tell them about what happened.  Because tomorrow I have a brief assignment for you both and Violeta.  And Shel, too, if she wants.  Then, on Sunday, I want you to have your first session with Lailah, Andrew.  And then take your week.  Your first full assignment will start on the 14th, okay?"

Andrew and JenniAnn both nodded happily.

"Wonderful!" Joshua squeezed their hands.  "Now how about you go check out your car, maybe take a walk until the girls arrive?  I have business in the kitchen." 

With a wink, Joshua left the couple alone.

"I'm so happy," JenniAnn murmured as she nuzzled Andrew's neck.  "I hope you won't get sick of me."

"Never, Laja.  Not in all eternity."  His voice grew husky.  "You are my heaven outside of heaven, my Eden."

Choked up, JenniAnn could only manage a "Love..." before stretching up to meet Andrew's waiting lips.


Shelby and Violeta both dabbed at their eyes with their handkerchiefs from Maryam as Andrew and JenniAnn finished their story.

"I'm so glad Abbie had you with her."  Violeta squeezed Andrew's hand.

Shelby nodded.

"In the end, she had a father who loved her.  Two really.  I'm sorry her real dad wasn't there for her.  But she had you and she had... has God.  I think knowing an angel cared... that must have meant so much."

JenniAnn lightly stroked Andrew's back as he spoke.

"I just can't keep doing it, though.  It's... not good for me to be alone.  So that's why I'll be working with you two now."  He smiled at JenniAnn and Violeta.  "And when it makes sense and is safe, we'll incorporate you, too, Shel.  It... it'll help me to have my girls with me.  Maybe... including tomorrow, if you want?" 

JenniAnn gave Andrew a gentle, encouraging smile before he turned back to the girls.

"We're going to visit Abbie's grave," he told them.

Shelby and Violeta both stood up and hugged Andrew.

"Of course we'll go with you!" Shelby agreed as Violeta continued to cling to him.

Andrew heaved a sigh of relief.  Together, they would see to it that Abbie got the respect she deserved.


That evening, Andrew and JenniAnn stood back and watched in awe as Marty and Joshua brought tray after tray into their room.

"This is... a lot.  You shouldn't have!" Andrew protested.

“J’étais heureux de le faire," Joshua replied with a stately bow before laughing and hugging the two.

"Show off..." Marty teased before claiming his own hugs.

"Everything looks and smells so delicious!" JenniAnn gushed.  "Thank you both.  I hope you made some for yourselves?"

"And Sandy and Lailah and the girls, too," Joshua confirmed.  "We're gonna enjoy it together in the conservatory so... you two have a lovely time.  We'll see you in the morning."

With more hugs and a chorus of "I love yous," Joshua and Marty left the couple alone.

Andrew and JenniAnn continued to gape at the array of food: champagne, croissants, warm goat cheese salad, mushroom quenelles, ratatouille, and an assortment of macarons. 

The two finally roused themselves enough to make up their plates and move onto the balcony.

"How are you feeling?" JenniAnn asked after a few heavenly bites.

Andrew finished chewing then sunk back against the wall and sighed happily.

"I'm feeling... blessed."

JenniAnn kissed his cheek then rested her head on his shoulder.

"Good.  I'm so glad, love."

The two ate slowly, savoring every bite, then briefly tidied their room before sharing a shower and getting ready for bed.

"How are you feeling?" Andrew asked as JenniAnn snuggled against him in their bed.

"Good... I mean... the anger is still there.  Probably will be for a long time.  But it feels... manageable.  And... productive somehow.  Even though I've not done anything yet."

"You have," Andrew urged.  "You helped me.  And tomorrow... tomorrow we start a whole new chapter."

"We do."  JenniAnn shifted onto her side and beamed at the angel and then a twinkle came into her eyes.  "Generally speaking, I don't think you're supposed to sleep with your co-workers."

Andrew chuckled.

"Good thing we have an understanding boss."

"Yes... a very good thing."  JenniAnn kissed him. 

Andrew buried a hand in her hair then slid it down to her shoulder and along her back, tracing the bumps of her spine.

"So beautiful," he whispered into her ear.

JenniAnn buried her face in his neck and let out a shaky breath.

"Andrew... aren't you tired?" she reluctantly protested.

"No... but I am pretty halo-y," he confessed with a smile and wiggle of his eye brows.

Happiness surged through JenniAnn's body.  She knew Andrew's struggles weren't all behind him.  Joshua had called in Lailah for good reason.  But for the first time since the cabin, she saw the old Andrew.

Andrew marveled at how light and invigorated he felt as he looked at JenniAnn.  The mere thought of her sitting by his side, her hair blowing in the wind and occasionally brushing his cheek as he drove, made him feel a hope and excitement about his work that he hadn't felt in a while. 

JenniAnn clung to Andrew as he rolled onto her and kissed her.  She slid her hands beneath his shirt and softly kneaded, grateful that he was far less tense than he had been.

Andrew trailed kisses down her neck and across her upper chest.  His fingers found the buttons of the bodice of her royal blue gown.  After a nod from JenniAnn, he carefully unbuttoned them, taking care not to damage the delicate garment.

Once he was done, JenniAnn lifted his t-shirt over his head.  Relieved tears filled her eyes as he placed a kiss over her heart then the scar on her abdomen.  When he sunk against her, she held him tight and pressed kisses into his hair.  Though it had been only days, she had missed his skin against hers, their hearts beating together.

Andrew wept softly as she caressed him, not from grief but gratitude.  He would no longer face hatred alone.  He would have his Laja at his side.


"'Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape.'"

Vincent's reading was interrupted by a chime from Catherine's phone.  He lowered his beloved, tattered copy of Great Expectations. 

Concerned, Catherine raised her head from his chest and reached out for her phone on the bedside table.  She smiled as she read the message from Psyche then held it out for Vincent to see.

It is well with my soul and his.

The couple sent up silent prayers of gratitude then settled back into their embrace as Vincent picked up his book and read to his wife.


On a dusty road on the outskirts of Seminole, Texas; only the birds and God saw a green convertible appear out of no where. 

Andrew glanced over at JenniAnn and smiled when he saw her hair whipping around.  She smiled back and reached over to pat his knee as he drove.  Behind them, Shelby and Violeta chatted.  The sound made Andrew happy.

Soon, the quartet arrived in the city.  With JenniAnn's help, Andrew placed an order at a local florist then, as they waited for the arrangement, the four got coffee at a nearby cafe.

Andrew laughed heartily as Shelby and Violeta recounted some of Isaiah's antics during their stay at Ivy's and Sy's place.  It felt like old times, gathered around a table with Monica, Tess, and Gloria.  But JenniAnn, Violeta, and Shelby weren't going any where.

After stopping back at the florist, the group grew more somber as Andrew drove to a cemetery while JenniAnn cradled the purple and yellow arrangement, Abbie's favorite colors.  She had added a ribbon from Joshua that was emblazoned with the girl's name. 

Once they parked, JenniAnn handed the flowers to Violeta and looped an arm around Andrew's waist.  The four walked quietly to a freshly dug grave bearing a temporary grave marker with an incorrect name on it.

Andrew sighed as he knelt down. 

"Hey, Abbie.  I... I just wanted to bring you something.  I hope you like them."

He took the flowers from Violeta and drove the stake at the bottom into the ground.

Andrew caressed the ribbon and smiled tenderly.

"I brought my family, some of them.  These are two of my girls, Shelby and Violeta.  And... and this is JenniAnn, my anam cara.  That's like a soulmate.  They were all touched when I... I told them your story so... so they wanted to come."

JenniAnn knelt down beside Andrew.

"We're so sorry about what happened to you, Abbie.  But... we know you're happy now."

"And we're gonna try to make the world a better place so... so people are treated like you deserved to be," Shelby promised. 

Violeta nodded and rested a hand on Andrew's shoulder.

"I hope I meet you in Heaven some day, Abbie.  I'm sorry you couldn't finish your life here but... I'm glad Andrew was with you.  He's the best angel I... I know."

Andrew reached back and patted her hand.

"It was an honor to meet you, even for a little while.  You're so brave, so kind, and... and I'm so glad that now you're with a family who recognizes how truly lovable you are.  You deserve peace and happiness, dear girl.  And... and now you have it.  Forever."

The four sat quietly for a few moments as Andrew wept then he patted the ground and indicated that he was ready to leave.  

Hand-in-hand, Andrew and JenniAnn walked back to the car with the girls.

"You okay to drive, Andrew?  Cause I can if not," Violeta offered.

Andrew wiped at his eyes then smiled and shook his head.

"No.  I'm good.  Really good, actually.  Let's get home."

The four got into the car and drove away, unaware that Joshua had appeared.  He smiled after them then made his way to Abbie's grave and knelt, touching the flowers.

"They'll learn, my joy.  You'll see, little one," he vowed.


A week later, Abbie's parents would find the pristine purple and yellow flowers and the ribbon.  They would try to yank it out of the dirt but the ground was unyielding.  They complained to the groundskeeper.  He gave it his all but still the arrangement would not budge.  They left in a huff.

After a month, they returned and found not a single petal or leaf had wilted.  The arrangement would still not budge.

As summer turned to autumn, they tracked down the florist and demanded to know how she had done it.  She told them she'd done nothing, only filled an order for a man whose face looked like love. 

In winter, they brought their pastor who insisted it was probably some "left-wing nutjobs" playing a trick on them, replacing the flowers every night.  But security cameras caught nothing... nor did a multi-night stake-out.  On the last night of keeping watch, her father tried to set fire to the ribbon but it refused to ignite.

On the anniversary of Abbie's death, her parents visited her grave again and saw the familiar, perfect flowers and the ribbon, untattered and unstained.  And that was when they recognized it for the miracle it was.  They broke down and truly grieved for the daughter they had killed and lamented the trust they had misplaced, the hatred they had embraced, and the joy they had denied themselves.

They ordered a permanent monument and had it placed on their child's grave.