More of the same.  I've just always been interested in the writing process and figured I might as well keep documenting my own! 
And now some others' too!

God bless,
Jenni (12-30-07)

JABB 235- "Tidings of Comfort and Joy" ~ "Dream" ~ "Great Spirit" ~

~ "Unconditionally" ~
JABB 238- Open Letter to John Dye ~ "The Masquerade Ball & Other Events" ~

~ "Eight Years Later" ~
JABB 241- 3 AM- Alternate version ~ JABB 244- "The Christmas Watch" Letter ~

~ "Dark Night of the Soul"
 "Man of No Reputation" "Make This Go On Forever" ~ "Benediction" ~

JABB 235- "Tidings of Comfort and Joy"

Another Christmas story!  Gotta say, was very tempted to write another "A Christmas Carol" variation.  I love those!  But I resisted and came up with this.  How???  I don't know.  When I sat down to write this the only part I knew was Vincent's and Catherine's substory.  The rest I just wrote as it came to me.  It was kinda fun.  A lil scary but fun.  Usually I have stories all plotted out.  As with previous stories, I'm just gonna go character by character and tell why they got the part they did.  (Typed out 12-30-07)

Dyelanders (in general)- They start out pretty lackadaisical.  That was pretty much my state upon entering the Christmas season.  My mom had just had back surgery, there had been a terrible shooting only blocks from where I worked, and things really didn't seem right.  I got the feeling from some YG posts that I wasn't the only one feeling this.  Sipping drinks with similarly minded friends seemed like a good idea.  As did the thought of letting go of the past.  Thankfully, both the Dyelanders and myself got outta their slumps and moved onto better things...

Lady JenniAnn and Eliot- As noted in my introduction to this story, this was the first Christmas story in a while that didn't contain some outlandish declaration of love from LJA to Andrew.  Eliot was the reason.  I'd decided this summer that since I'd gone through my own growing up experience (moving into my own home), LJA should have a growing up experience herself.  Since she already lived on her own (sometimes), a boyfriend seemed the next logical step for her (better her than me!  ;-)  Enter Eliot.  Something I'd felt was missing in this relationship was a good transition from Andrew to Eliot.  So this story contains it.  LJA is obviously more than a little obsessed with
It's a Wonderful Life.  Knowing this, Andrew orchestrates a scene in which Eliot takes over his own spot as LJA's personal George Bailey.  I just wanted it to be kinda sweet.  I'm assuming this is LJA's and Eliot's first kiss.  Of course... the fact that Andrew kinda had to push them to that probly says something.  But that's another story!  Basically, though, this scene sets my theme of getting over the wounds and angst of the past and moving on.

From there LJA and Eliot pretty much sink back into the ensemble and don't have any more really stand-out scenes.  Earlier that same week I had written a story for the YG that featured only LJA and Adam.  So I was kinda LJA-ed out.

Andrew- I had one small problem with his story but I glossed it over.  If, the previous Christmas, Andrew really had heard LJA tell him she'd love him til the day she died... why did he play stupid?  That's kinda lying.  But I justified it to myself by thinking that may be he hadn't put two and two together until later that night.  So right after she said it, he didn't know what she'd said.  Only later did it click into place.  And apparently he'd remembered it all year long.  Knowing it would cause the now-dating-Eliot LJA some angst, he set about to right it.  And he did.  See shippers, you can write romantic scenes involving Andrew with out the angel himself going all googly eyed!  But I suppose my scene isn't quite as dramatic as lovers tortured in hellfire or clandestine angelic marriages.  Ho hum.

Anyhow, then Andrew moves into nutcracker mode which completely came outta no where for me.  I had listened to some of Tchaikovsky's music earlier in the month but I haven't seen
The Nutcracker in ages.  I actually had to look up the godfather's name (Drosselmeyer) and whether it was mice or rats the Nutcracker Prince battled (either, depending on the version).

Mr. Appleton- Nutcracker Andrew (eventually joined by Adam and Henry) helps Mr. Appleton come to terms with his wife's death.  This was all part of my underlying theme in this story of putting the past behind us and welcoming in a promising future.  While Mr. Appleton will always miss his wife, it's only in beginning to overcome his grief that he sees how many people truly care about him and sets about on a happier future filled with all the children (young and now grown) whose lives he and his wife touched.

I do think the revelation scene was a bit rushed.  Possibly Mr. Appleton coulda had an entire story just to himself and the three AODs.  But I was short on time and already on page 12 with other substories left to get closure on.  So I let that go.

Nigel- Really not a character I'm comfortable writing.  Yvette has taken such care with him and his mode of speaking and behavior.  Unlike Adam (whom she also writes for), I don't have Nigel episodes to help me along.  Nor do I have a 10+ year personal history with him as I do Adam.  I'm always worried I'll have Nigel say or do something unNigel-like.  So it was an utter shock to me that Nigel got the most detailed and I think may be even lengthiest substory. 

"The Christmas Guest" is on a CD that I've listened to several times each Christmas season for the past 3 or 4 years.  It's surprising to me that I never thought to write it into a Dyeland Christmas story before.  I'm not sure if it's the rather dated storytelling of the piece or what but I knew it could only be Nigel's.  Plus, and may be this goes back to my main theme about the past, Nigel's had a rough year.  The broken leg and the Andi debacle...  He deserved to have something nice happen to him.  And I guess it doesn't get much better than 3 visits from God!  Even if He wasn't immediately recognized. 

My personal favorite visitation was the one in which Nigel gave the first beggar one of his own suits.  Upon further reflection, though, I began to think may be Nigel lying (about the suit not fitting) wasn't entirely angelic.  But I came to the conclusion that angels could (like us) morally lie if it meant helping another save face.  It wouldn't have played well if Nigel had given the suit and said "This one fits me really well...  But, oh well, I'll give it to you, anyway."  My thinking was that people in need don't like being in need.  They don't enjoy asking for hand-outs.  By Nigel framing his gift as a favor the beggar might be willing to do for him, he was protecting the man's dignity and self-respect.  But if you don't buy that... just think that may be Nigel had a growth spurt since buying the suit and it truly didn't fit.  ;-)

Lady Beth- My biggest disappointment with this story is that I didn't really feel Lady Beth, Yva, or Rose got their own story.  But I'm trying to accept that, as with a TV show with a large ensemble cast, it's not possible to give everyone a starring role each time.  Besides, protecting three beloved AODs with your shoes isn't an entirely pishposh occurrence!  It was nice to have the heroines save the heroes, the mortals save the immortals.  Plus, I enjoyed writing the exchange between Henry and Lady Beth before the angel takes LB to London.  A red-faced AOD huddled on your doorstep...  Fun times!

Quite accidentally I had Lady Beth being the first of the women to gather that Mr. Appleton wasn't psychologically right.  Looking back, that works well with her stance as a good listener to the Dyelanders.

Adam- Okay, so I loved the idea of him knitting stockings for the turkeys.  Guys who knit are cool.  Like Emerson Cod on
Pushing Daisies.  But I bet they do get teased, hence Adam being a bit defensive about it. 

Beyond that, Adam mostly gets stuck with nutcracker duty.  I wanted him to have a more personal story line but, again, I'd just written an Adam and LJA-centric story so was kinda taking a break from them both to give others (Nigel, clearly) a chance to shine.  Nonetheless, I did get to play with his wicked sense of humor a bit.  And I loved imagining his face as Appleton drags he and Henry away to be nutcracker-ified.  Gotta love karma!

Henry- Same as with Adam, I woulda liked him to have his own story line.  However, Henry's hard for me to write simply cause we only have two episodes featuring him.  At least he got more attention than Gloria.  Didn't mean to totally leave her out... oops!

Rose- Rose, thankfully, remembered the plot of
The Nutcracker.  So yay for her and her shoes!  Again, ideally she woulda had her own story but at least she got to hug Andrew.  That's something!  :-)

Yva- I'd toyed with bringing her into Nigel's story.  But I wasn't sure how to do that.  I kinda wanted to leave those scenes as only between Nigel and God, just as the visitation scenes involve only Conrad and God in "The Christmas Guest."  So Yva got to be part of the mice-fighting crew.  Probly for the best as I wanted there to be three ladies to defend the three AODs/nutcrackers.  Had Yva been in another substory, I'm not sure who woulda become the third "Clara." 

I did get to plug her bear-making skills in the December 21st section, though.  It was mostly just a scene written to give back story on Vincent and Catherine to those not on the YG.  But I did like the dialogue.  It seemed pretty natural considering those three characters had never done a scene together.

Willy- I apparently need to rewatch
Willy Wonka cause I feel like I could do better by this character.  I'm still kinda disappointed in his scenes which are awfully limited.  Before next year it may not be a bad idea for me to rewatch Babes in Toyland also.  Isn't that Christmas-y?  It seems like it'd be a good fit for a Wonka-themed homage to holiday favorites.  Cause I do wish, after the opening scene in which Willy is told about the annual homages, that he had actually taken part in one.  I guess he sorta did with the Jacob scene but I mean his own.

Vincent and Catherine- Finally, I did an homage to *the* Christmas story.  As stated in my intro, Vincent and Catherine's scene was the only one I knew about when I sat down to write.  More to the point, I had toyed with the idea of their adopting a child who, like Vincent, would be found behind St. Vincent's.  That they would do so on a starry Christmas Eve night... that was a last-minute decision.  I was honestly a lil paranoid about it.  I thought it might seem blasphemous (I didn't personally think it was but was just concerned others might).  I'm not sure what I was thinking with that worry cause TBAA pretty much did the same thing in "An Angel on the Roof."  And "Scrubs" did it and, if memory serves, so did "Boy Meets World."  And probly countless other shows.  So I went with it.

I had regretted leaving baby Jacob out of the Vincent/Catherine story line for years.  However, I was adamantly opposed to having Catherine get pregnant in her late 40s or early 50s.  Yes, I know it happens but I wasn't about to promulgate the idea that it's easily done.  With some celebs having babies at that stage in life, I am genuinely concerned it'll give people false hope.  So, even though JABB doesn't have a huge influence, I wasn't going to further the "late in life pregnancy with out fertility treatments" myth here.  But I wanted Jacob (or some version of him) back...

So I invented this pregnancy and eventual miscarriage for Vincent and Catherine.  My reasons for the miscarriage will become evident in a later story.  It made me really sad for them which only made me want to give them a baby even more.  And Christmas is a time for miracles, right?  And this was a story about healing the past and embracing the future, right?

And so a star shown brightly in the sky over St. Vincent's.  Angels announced the coming of a child to two people who had no reason to believe they would become parents but who desperately wanted to have a child.  And God smiled down on the family He had created. 

I was very happy with this scenario.  Even if I did have a few reservations and here they are:

1.  On "Beauty and the Beast," Vincent was very reserved about sex.  And ya got the vibe that he probly didn't see himself fathering a child for fear the child would share his condition.  So may be it was a stretch that suddenly he's embittered about not having a child.  My thinking was that the baby that was miscarried was not planned.  Just as the original Jacob on the show was not planned.  It was only in losing that child that Vincent and Catherine realized how much they wanted kids.  But because of the genetic situation (invented by me and which I thought of as either Rh incompatibility or similar), it was impossible to carry a child to term.  So by 2007, we have two characters that have come to terms with having children yet can't.  That was why Vincent was so angsty.  He'd eventually gotten over his paternal fears and all for naught.

2.  How's Vincent going to adopt a baby?  He's not, legally speaking.  I just assumed that as with much of the Tunnel world, a lot of strings would be pulled by Helpers.  Plus, Catherine's very well placed in the NYC legal system.  And, let's be honest, there's probably not a line of people waiting to adopt a child of unknown origins with a cleft lip.  Sad but true.  So Catherine adopts Jacob herself.  A Helper who is also a social worker, signs onto her case.  Creative report filing ensues.  That way the secret of Vincent and the Tunnels never leaves the circle of those already in it.

3.  Why does Jacob have a cleft lip?  I know it's naive but I don't like thinking that someone would just dump their baby.  Yes, I know it happens but I had to invent some story about why someone would do something so terrible.  So I envisioned a teenage girl, having denied she's pregnant (like Lydia in "Redeeming Love"), giving birth by herself.  Already not in the most psychologically stable place, she panics even more upon seeing the baby's deformity.  In shock, she left the baby behind St. Vincent's.  May be she was even from some really conservative family and had been taught that premarital sex was terribly sinful.  It wouldn't be a stretch for her to then think the deformed child was a punishment for her sins and to want to abandon Jacob for that reason.  Sad and horrible theology but all too believable a scenario, I'm afraid.  In any case, the mother is now out of the picture.  I will not be going the whole "I want my kid back" route.  I've seen too much of that in real life and have no desire to bring it into my fiction.

Also, Jacob's cleft lip served as a good way to tie-in the gift to Operation Smile that I wanted to make in JABB's honor.  It'll also give JABB opportunity to continue to plug this charity which TBAA brought to our attention.

Monica and Tess- Not the most character enlightening roles but I wanted to bring them into the story.  Announcing the birth of a child on Christmas Eve is a pretty darn good job!  Also, they became the final part of my "healing the past" theme by joining the Dyeland party and being reunited with Andrew, Adam, Henry, and each other.

(Typed out 12-30-07)


Back in the 1980s my mom watched the show "Beauty and the Beast."  Still vaguely remembering Vincent and Co., I began to watch the show in reruns on Sci-Fi in 1996.  I became obsessed!  I was buying classical music, reading the classics, and generally wanting to have my own personal Vincent.  But more as a cool uncle or cousin than boyfriend a la Catherine.  Understandably, I was pretty well devastated when in the third season Catherine was killed.  And then suddenly the whole show was over.  As many have probly noticed, I've spent some of JABB making myself feel better about that televised trauma.

Fast forward to 2007 and Ron Koslow, writer and executive producer for BatB, is now a writer and executive producer of "Moonlight."  A beautiful woman falls for a guy who spends a lot of his life hiding because he sees himself as monster.  Seriously, did anyone not see a pending obsession coming?  Unfortunately, "Moonlight" hasn't been a HUGE rating success.  Very promising but depending on the day the chances for a Season 2 look very good to not-so-good.  I had visions of the show ending with Mick running into a burning building, hearing a scream, and never knowing what happened to our poor vampire...

So!  I decided to bring Mick and Co. into Dyeland just as I did with Vincent and Co.  That way even if the show does go bye-bye (and I pray it doesn't), those of us that enjoy it can still make our own closure somehow.  But before you can get closure (which hopefully we won't need for some time) you need introduction.  So here's a lil vignette about Mick finding his way into Dyeland.  I wrote it on December 2nd or thereabouts.


(Typed out 2-21-08)

"Great Spirit"

I love writing for, maintaining, producing, etc. and whatever JABB.  But there is the occasional low point.  In order to get new members, we need to have an email address available to people who visit  But that also means anyone and everyone can visit and then send me emails that I just might really have rather never laid eyes on.  Just such a scenario occurred in December of 2007.  Just in time for Christmas, I became the rather irritated and offended recepient of some emails related to Charles Rocket's untimely passing.  I did not consider them to be respectful and they most certainly were unwanted and deeply troubling to me.  So... as sorta therapy I wrote a story entitled "Great Spirit" for the YahooGroup which deals with Adam trying to help Lady JenniAnn cope with receiving such emails.  Because LJA's words about the emails are largely my own, I do not feel comfortable putting the story here.  However, if you are a JABB member and would like to read this then please email me and I will send you a user name and password so you can access the link below and other protected stories.


(Typed out 2-21-08)


In a case of "when it rains, it pours," I found myself writing another therapeutic story about a month later and posting it to the YG.  This time it wasn't due to emails but instead the unfortunate death of Heath Ledger.  As if that wasn't tragic enough, a couple days after his passing MSNBC reported that a certain group intended to picket his memorial due to his performance in "Brokeback Mountain."  I will not name the group as I don't want them to have a key stroke more of publicity.  They had previously been in my hometown on one of their hateful missions so when I heard that it really reawakened that anger.  So I wrote a story in which Andrew confronts this group while attending an assignment's funeral.  Unfortunately, things turn violent and Lady JenniAnn (whose home town is site of the funeral) and Mick arrive on the scene just in time to see Andrew get physically accosted.  They then realize that emotional wounds are much more difficult to heal than physical ones.

In keeping with the idea of not giving these yahoos any publicity, this story is also password protected.  So if you're a JABBer and would like to read this story, please contact me and I will provide the access information.

(Typed out 2-21-08)

JABB 238- Open Letter to John Dye

So when Dye Day 2008 rolled around, some of us decided to write open letters to John Dye.  I wrote the following.  But then I cut a portion of it because I decided it wasn't exactly a good first impression.  Ya know, in case JD actually did read them.  Cause if memory serves we had a link to them right on the index page at the time.  So they weren't difficult to find.  In any case, here's the cut paragraph.  It allowed me to finally get something that bothers me about the early JABBs off my chest!

Dear John,

Before I continue I absolutely need to get something off my chest.  Ya know how people tend to do things when they're young that they later look back on and cringe?  Reckless partying, irresponsible drinking, and things of that nature?  Well, I have something like that.  Okay, not exactly like that... but it does make me cringe.  As a teenager I apparently thought it was the heighth of comedy to write stories with a fictionalized version of yourself galavanting around JABB's fictional, magical Dyeland.  I now realize this was beyond weird.  Yes, I realize that the entire concept of Dyeland is weird but I mean this was weirder than weird.  So my apologies about that.  Plans are in the works to right that.  But moving on...

And then the rest continued as you find it in the newsletter.  In JABB 251 I revealed that John Dye was never in Dyeland.  Instead he was a look-alike actor named George who Cliff hired to keep the Dyelanders happy.  Cause Cliff didn't wanna be deserted again.  Ya know, cause his wife had left him before.  Dyeland really can be like a soap opera...

(Typed out 11-6-08)

"The Masquerade Ball & Other Events"

Several months ago Yvette introduced the character of Andi to Dyeland on the YG.  The young English woman became dangerously obsessed with Nigel and had the whole of Dyeland and the Tunnels in a panic.  This story begins to explain the reasons behind some of Andi's actions.  Thanks to Yvette for sharing it with us!

(Typed out 2-22-08)

"Eight Years Later"

Ever since writing JABB 159, I've toyed with the idea of further developing the first days after Andrew came to Dyeland.  I began that with this story.  It's what I call a "chamber piece."  Basically it involves a very small number of characters (two here) and a limited setting.  In this story, Andrew and Lady JenniAnn spend St. Patrick's Day evening recalling when they met on another St. Patrick's Day eight years previously.  Just a little glimpse into what's changed... and what hasn't.  You can also probly guess what movie I watched shortly before writing this...

"Eight Years Later"

(Typed out 4-7-08)

JABB 241- 3 AM- Alternate version

I seldom try my hand at politically inspired humor at JABB.  However, during the 2000 presidential elections I couldn't resist throwing a couple Bush/Gore references into Andrew's and Adam's debate.  And then, prior to the 2008 election, Hillary Clinton gave parodists a wondrous gift: the 3 AM red phone ad.  YouTube filled with hilarious variations on it.  Sometimes the Ghostbusters answered, sometimes Jack Bauer, and countless others.  So it got me thinking... who would answer such a call in Dyeland?  I published my answer in JABB 241.  However, in an earlier, incomplete, unpolished version, JenniAnn was much more lucid.  I present that version below only because I love Andrew's answer to her question about why his voice sounded different.  :-)

Lady JenniAnn finally clicked off CNN.  Despite the copious amounts of time she spent in Dyeland and the Tunnels, she was committed to staying informed about the world into which she'd been born.  So she'd tried her best to follow the U.S. presidential campaign.  She still wasn't sure what was up with super-delegates or how anyone justified endorsing someone they'd earlier lambasted.  She'd shrugged both off as phenomena she'd never understand.  But there was one thing she couldn't get off her mind... apparently it was important who answered the White House phone at 3 AM.  She had to wonder... who answered the Dyeland City Hall phone at 3 AM?  Was she supposed to?  Had they simply forgot to assign anyone?  Did it go to Andrew's voice recording?  She had to know!
The woman stared at her alarm clock.  The numbers glowed 2:59.  She stared at the clock.  3 AM!!!  She grabbed up the phone and dialed.  There was a ring.  Then another.  Still another.


JenniAnn frowned.  She didn't recognize the voice.  "Hello..." she answered back warily.

"Yes?  Is there a problem?"

"Who is this?"

"Andrew.  Laja, is that you?"

"Yeah," she answered, suddenly shy as she wondered if she'd woken him up.  She still wasn't entirely sure how much sleep he required.

"What's wrong?  It's 3 AM," Andrew asked, concerned.  He then listened as she rambled off some excuse.  She spoke so quickly he could only pick out key words like "children sleeping," "3 AM," and "White House."

"It didn't sound like you when you answered," JenniAnn finally said in a normal tone.

"Oh, I, uh... was eating a buffalo wing."

"At 3 AM!?!?"

"May be not as strange as randomly calling people at 3 AM," Andrew defended with a grin and a chuckle.

"Oh right, sorry.  Hey, I hear someone in the background."  JenniAnn listened more carefully. 

At that point I switched to the existing version.  I can't quite recall who LJA was hearing in the background but I'm gonna guess Adam.  In any case, I'm glad Andrew is the Official 3 AM Phone Answerer of Dyeland.  :-)

(Typed out 11-6-08)

JABB 244- "The Christmas Watch" Letter

Starting with JABB 199, I began writing "Jenni and Jenni Write JABB" which involved my going through old TBAA related journal entries and commenting on them as my modern self.  The following would have been part of the fourth installment of that in JABB 244.  However, because of the religious and very serious nature I decided to put it here.  Just FYI, Joshua and Jesus are the same name.  Joshua/Yeshua is Hebrew/Aramaic, Jesus is Greek.  At various stages in my life I've used those three interchangeably as here.

12:02 AM   12-23-02

I was reading "Lamb" [a book by Christopher Moore] but stopped at Palm Sunday.  I just didn't want to go any further.  Then I got the idea that I needed to work that energy out but I couldn't think of anything besides plastic canvas and another plastic canvas crosss...  well I didn't feel that was what I needed to do.  I bounced around other ideas while I watched the new TBAA episode after I'd shut "Lamb" for the night...  Got surprisingly involved in TBAA.  It was about a guy whose watch they found @ Ground Zero.  His [name] was Joshua.  That weirded me out as I'd been thinking of you, my own Joshua.  Then Monica said "Think of Joshua!" and the other characters went thru their memories of him as I was just doing for you.  I teared up a bit but then it ended with people fixing the watch.  Joshua's son had said the tick-tock was his dad's heart.  The shop owner picked up the little boy and held him as he listened to the watch.  But then they showed Joshua holding his son.  I fell apart, tears streaming, the whole bit.  Suddenly I remember how on some nights I'd get upset and lay a rough sort of blanket under my cheek.  I figured that's what robes were like back 2000 years ago- rough.  I pretended I was hugging you.  I wish you were physically here.  I miss you.

That's why I sometimes say that, for me, "The Christmas Watch" is my personal finale.  Because of the unfortunate events surrounding the actor who played Zack in "I Will Walk with You" I can neither watch that episode nor accept the character of Zack now.  So "The Christmas Watch" is my God-in-the-flesh episode.  Not that I think the Joshua character was God.  Obviously he was not.  I just mean that it's the episode that made God most real to me in the context of TBAA.

(Typed out 4-12-08)

"Dark Night of the Soul"

Okay, here's me deciding to exorcise the post "Two Sides to Every Angel" demons.  I decided to dub it "Dark Night of the Soul" after a famous work by the Christian mystic St. John of the Cross.  I became familiar with the piece when Loreena McKennitt turned part of it into a song by that name.  And I had it in my head that the soft music drifting from the Cafe in the story was Loreena McKennitt's.  The intro quote is also from a LM song but not "Dark Night" cause I thought that could get misconstrued with all the beloved and lover stuff even though it's really spiritual.
It was weird trying to write Dyeland 2002 again.  I had to remind myself what 20 year old LJA was like.  Had to remember to keep "Laja" outta it.  Also had to try and reconstruct what the Andrew/LJA dynamic was back then.  I guess I decided to play it as... more naive, maybe?  Which, in turn, made them a bit less reserved than they've been in recent years.
It was really weird knowing that most of the Dyeland people who are active now weren't around in 2002.  And sad realizing that those that were aren't around now.
LJA's description of her days at college is pretty legit.  I mean, of course, other stuff was strewn in but the three things she mentions figured in pretty prominently in my mind.  Cept the posters were actually standees shaped like black silhouettes of women.  On the plus side, that probly did more for my Androolism post-TBAA than anything!
Finally, I'm really glad I added that willow tree to the Dyeland map a couple years ago.  It's proved most useful.  ;-)
God bless

"Dark Night of the Soul"

(Typed out 4-18-08)

"Man of No Reputation"

Okay, so there was this really... questionable fic on that many of us found more than a lil upsetting.  So I wrote this to make myself feel better and maybe others, too.  Since Dyeland is only alluded to, I didn't plan on putting it here.  But then I couldn't find the story in my files and decided to go ahead and put it here since it's a bit harder to lose a web page.  Some notes first from when I wrote this back on June 18th:

"Joshua" in this is very much inspired by Fr. Joseph Girzone's books which are basically about Jesus coming to earth to share the message of God's love and help His people.  Not in a big Second Coming way.  Just to hang out and do his thing, basically.  So that's what he's doing here, it's not some sorta End Times thing.  Also in those books, Joshua knows more than an average human but when he's on Earth he does give up the *all* knowing thing.
This is presented in a manner in keeping with my beliefs.  I do think Jesus is God, not just a prophet or messenger or super-cool person.  Whether this story would be acceptable to someone who doesn't believe in the Trinity would be difficult for me to say.  Hopefully it doesn't offend anyone but in order to write "Joshua" I had to stick with how I think of him.
I hope the real Son knows I mean no disrespect but have sympathy for His being shipped about.
Oh, I decided not to go with a title that gave any reference to that story.  As this is, at least in part, a story about misbegotten reputations I opted to go with "Man of No Reputation."  It's actually a title of a beautiful song Rick Elias wrote for Rich Mullins and his band.  It's said that Rich was so moved by this song he had difficult performing it.  Lyrics are here.  The song actually references the Bridegroom/Bride imagery from the Gospels which perhaps makes referencing it here odd.  But then again, maybe not.  Jesus used that imagery to show His love for His people.  NOT for an individual which is what at root is wrong with that story IMO. 
I spose the title could also be a very innocent double entendre, too.  "He/she has a reputation ::wink, wink, nudge, nudge::" often has a risqué connotation to it.  So in that sense both Andrew and Joshua really are men of no reputation.  Anyhow, enough of semantics.
So here we go...

(Typed out 8-24-08)

"Make This Go On Forever"

So I was pretty bummed when "Moonlight" was canceled.  Not just cause we'd never know what Mick's and Beth's future would be or if Mick would find the cure for vampirism but also cause we'd never know what became of Josef and Sarah.  That love story was featured in only one episode but it touched me.  So when ML ended I knew I had to find my own resolution for that.  This story is NOT the resolution I anticipated.  It's not even really what I wanted to happen but the more I thought about it... it just seemed it had to be this way.  On the plus side, the plot I stuck with featured way more Andrew than the original.   Always a good thing!

Originally I intended to post the story a chapter at a time.  And I did begin that way... only to discover I hate posting stories a chapter at a time.  ;-)  So I am sorry if anyone was reading it and I suddenly dropped it and didn't put it here til I was finished.  Lesson learned.  Won't be doing that again!

This story may not make much sense to ML fans but if you still want to read it, here's some background information I originally posted to the JABB YG:

If you've not see the "Moonlight" episode "Sleeping Beauty" but want to read this (and I mostly wrote it to get some peace, not with an expectation for wide readership since it's very ML-centric) here's a recap:  Basically what you need to know is that Josef is a vampire.  He's something of a player (and a bit coarse-mouthed so there's cussing in this story) but then us ML fans discovered he actually has a tragi-romantic history.  After 350 years as a vampire, Josef fell in love with a girl named Sarah.  They were together for a year and over several months she begged him to turn her into a vampire so they could be together.  Josef didn't want to and tried to dissuade her but she wouldn't give it up.  So he tried.  He did everything technically right but for some reason Sarah was left in a coma.  She doesn't age.  She's just stuck.  Neither human nor vampire, apparently.  Since 1955.  Josef has ensured that she's cared for ever since then and visits her on occasion.  But nothing has changed in over 50 years.  Sarah's no better, no worse than she was that day in 1955.  Until now.
I spose a few words about chapter titles would be good.  About half of them are references to songs or other works.  Chapter 1 is obviously from the Bible but also how Mick described Josef's sense of justice.  Chapter 2 is part of a lyric from Lapush's song "Aurora" which the ML people used to score a big Josef and Sarah scene.  Chapter 4 comes from the Doris Day song.  Chapter 7's title comes from lyrics to "Make This Go On Forever" by Snow Patrol.  Chapter 8 is named for an island in Dyeland which is itself named after the mythical island on which King Arthur rests until he comes again. 
So it was pretty emotional writing this but I'm glad I finally got it done! 

So without further adieu...

 (Typed out 10-11-08)


On October 7th, 2008, my pet frog passed away.  Flick came into my life in the summer of 2006.  My brother was working in a grocery store and this little frog was found on a potted plant in the florist area.  Not knowing what to do, the florist called my brother.  I had long been collecting plush frogs and other frog stuff.  So my brother thought I'd love having my own frog!  I was not so enthused.  I was quite sure the frog would be like a carnival goldfish and die the next day.  Besides, it was one thing to cuddle up with a neon velvet stuffed toy.  A real, slimy, bug-eating frog... not thrilling.  But my brother was so excited and they didn't know what else to do with the frog so...  Flick arrived at our home in a deli container.  And he was pretty cute...  He was transferred into a temporary plastic house from the Discovery Channel and named Flick Stanley Frogger.  (The first name just cause it was cute and asexual, the second after the often grimacing Stanley from "The Office" and the third my brother's contribution.)  And I learned how to be a proper frog mother.  Including feeding live crickets...

Flick did not die the next day.  He lived for over two years, healthy as can be for most of them.  Only recently had I noticed him growing thinner.  And only on his last day did he seem truly sick.  I am grateful that, if he did suffer, it seems not to have been long.  However, because it all happened so quickly, his passing came as a shock to me.  When I first moved into my house, Flick had been my only pet.  That experience made me feel even more bonded to him.  Previous to my move, I had spent only one night of my life truly alone.  I was a little nervous.  But not when I had Flick.  Simply having him present calmed me those first nights and during the first storms after my move.  I will always be grateful to him for those days.  He seemed larger than life then and suddenly he was gone.

I set out to write this story about Lady JenniAnn coping with the death of her own frog.  To help me cope with Flick's death.  However, a strange thing happened as I began that story.  In my own grief I struggled with the idea that my life may yet go on for many, many years.  Supposing I have an average lifespan, the time I had with Flick will make up only 1/40th of my life.  It's a strange feeling to realize that someone you cared about existed only in a blink of an eye compared to your own life.  With that in mind, I felt myself thinking more about Andrew's emotions than Lady JenniAnn's.  How much more must he feel that?  While this is Flick's story, it also became a story about community, reconciliation, facing the unknown, and carrying the memory of those we love in our hearts even if we have to do so for many, many, many years without them at our side.

The final bit I wrote for this story was its title.  I was extremely tempted to go with "All Frogs Go to Heaven" but I guess that was a little too goofy for me to commit to right now.  Instead, I chose "Benediction."  I chose it not just because Flick does eventually bless Andrew with his words but in thinking about the relationships between characters I thought about how we all are, in fact, benedictions to each other.  Or, at least, we can be. gives this as one of the definitions for benediction: "something that promotes goodness or well-being."  In that sense, Flick was definitely a benediction to me so the title seems a fitting way to honor him.


 (Typed out 10-11-08)

Author's Cut Part 1
Author's Cut Part 2
Author's Cut Part 3
Author's Cut Part 5
Author's Cut Part 6
 Author's Cut Part 7
"The Carpenter's Stories"

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(Photo Credits: The photograph used on this page is from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.  It is not being used to seek profit.)